Embracing the Unknown
A Year of Discovery Post 9-to-5 and Graduate School
Can you believe it’s been a whole year since I left my regular job? In 2022, I embarked on a journey to follow my passion for sustainability and pursue a master’s degree in Barcelona, Spain — a dream in itself.
A wise man once said:
“The way we talk to ourselves is how we will talk to our kids.” — Unknown
I’ve given that idea my own twist. Sometimes, I talk to my inner child, imagining her right here with me. I show her the amazing life she’ll lead and the things she’ll achieve. There were (and still are) so many moments when I lose sight of what is possible and any dream seems too far away. That’s when I need to remind myself the most that I have been living the dreams I once had.
Countless LinkedIn graduation posts later, I waved goodbye to my life as a graduate student. A closing of a chapter always brings a tinge of awkwardness, especially when uncertainty looms. To add to the pressure, my anxiety and bank balance seem to have an inverse correlation — as one goes up, the other goes down.
As the days pass, I find myself contemplating my next steps. The part of me that craves external approval is eager to seize any (unpaid) opportunity and enroll in every online course imaginable. But there is another part of me that has been dormant, a voice that surfaces sporadically, urging me to chart my own course.
As I remove my rose-tinted glasses that have accompanied my journey of romanticizing living alone in a foreign country, I question myself, is this really what I want?
Could it be that my dreams weren’t really mine? Maybe they were ideas from the people around me or the environment I’m in. You know what they say:
“You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” — Jim Rohn
After nights of contemplation, I’ve come to a conclusion (for now): No matter where I work or who I work for, I want to invest in myself. The notion of working until burnout for a paycheck or a means to an end no longer resonates.
“Act from love rather than fear.” — Unknown
This year, I made a promise to myself — no more being driven by guilt and fear. I will do things for myself and for the causes I believe in. I might not know exactly what it’ll look like, but it’s okay not to have everything figured out. What matters is giving my best and focusing on what I can control. Anything more just leads to frustration and clouds the positive.
One thing I know for certain is that I can’t wait to meet the version of myself in the future, brimming with experiences and growth. I’m excited to meet the person I’ll become.
