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Heartfelt, down-to-earth and real stories by women for women. Support our lovely Modern Women editing team @ ko-fi.com/modernwomen

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Femininity Was Never Lost — We Just Guard It Differently

Comet N.
3 min readMay 16, 2025

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Photo by Tiko Giorgadze on Unsplash

I remember once sitting in the kitchen, scrolling through a reel that promised to teach women how to be “feminine again.” I paused. I didn’t even roll my eyes. I just felt… misunderstood.

Because I don’t think women have forgotten how to be feminine.

I think we’ve just gotten used to guarding it.

When your softness becomes a target, you learn to armor up.

People think femininity is something light and carefree. Pretty smiles, delicate steps, patient tones. They assume it’s something you can paint on with blush and perfume.

But real femininity — the energy of intuition, warmth, creation, rest — it’s not performative. It’s sacred.

And for some of us? It had to go into hiding. Not because we didn’t want to be soft — but because we weren’t given a space where our softness was safe.

What looks like hardness is often self-protection.

I know I’ve been called “too strong,” “too vocal,” “too much.” I’ve had moments where I seemed stern, distant, or even cold — and maybe I was. But not because I’m naturally that way.

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Modern Women
Modern Women

Published in Modern Women

Heartfelt, down-to-earth and real stories by women for women. Support our lovely Modern Women editing team @ ko-fi.com/modernwomen

Comet N.
Comet N.

Written by Comet N.

A girl who writes & addresses toxic hidden agenda in the form of topical issues whilst digesting their relative life lessons. I can't alone— It's a ‘let's all’.