Feminism Is Stupid
I don’t know why women keep making noise about it all over social media.
No, I didn’t say that.
A colleague said that to me in 2017 while we were doing our National Service. Okay, maybe I should have put them in quotation marks. But I love the drama, so no.
Let’s get on with the story, shall we?
In Ghana, university graduates are required by law to offer a year-long service to the nation for very sad pay. It’s only after National Service that one can be fully employed for less sad pay.
So, here I was, at the local government office in Accra with other national service personnel. Working in the revenue department of the Accra Metropolitan Assembly, I eventually befriended other service personnel — two women and two men.
We often talked about a lot of topics, ranging from mundane to profound issues. As a personal rule though, I try not to discuss religion and politics unless one directly asks for my opinions.
And nothing could be more direct than the day one of my colleagues — a woman, for additional context — went on a full-blown tirade against feminism to my face.
It started with her seeing a Facebook post about “feminism”. In all fairness, what she saw was not feminism at all but a group of misandrists parading themselves as feminists. Even though I was a little shocked she could not tell the difference, I still understood her reaction. The post was incredibly offensive, so I let her rant to get the entire thing off her chest. In fact, calling feminism stupid was but the tamest portion of her argument.
I listened to her until she finished. At the time, I had gotten very good at listening to people calmly even when they were getting on my last nerves. Once she was done, I started by asking her very simple questions.
“Do you believe that a man is better than you simply because he is a man and you’re a woman?”
“What?” She was obviously taken aback by my question. “No.”
“Okay,” I nodded. But I was just getting started. “Let’s say only men are allowed to vote in this country but women are not. And the reason given by the government is that women are not capable of making decisions. What would you say about that?”
“That does not even make any sense. Women are capable of making decisions just like men are.”
“Oh, we’re getting somewhere.” I laughed. “Do you think your worth as a human being should only be determined by the man in your life and how well you serve him? I’ll give you an example. You’re unmarried and have no children. Do you think society should think less of you as a woman because you do not have a husband and children?”
For a while, she said nothing. In her eyes, I saw her wrestling with her emotions. The above question I asked was by no means hypothetical. We both knew it. This was a real problem in our society, and I knew she absolutely hated it. Not having the words to reply, she simply shook her head in the negative.
Then I asked her the last question. “If you and a man were doing the same job, but he was getting paid more though you two have the same qualification, how would you feel about that?”
“That sounds unfair,” she said. “Shouldn’t we be paid the same if we’re doing the same job with the same qualification?”
“Ah, congratulations,” I beamed. “You’re a feminist.”
She was speechless, as though I had just diagnosed her with a terminal illness. I told her that these and more were the very things feminists were fighting for. Feminists are not people who hate men. They are people who fight for the equality of the sexes, that men and women, boys and girls, should all be given the same opportunities for the betterment of society.
Feminists even stand up for men and no one is more concerned about men’s mental health than they are. Men too can be feminists, I told her, not only women.
I went further to tell her that in the past, women were not allowed to vote and were told that they only belonged in the kitchen. They were nothing more than baby-making machines for their men.
Women of today have more freedom and choices because of feminists who fought for them relentlessly. Unfortunately, there are still societies that oppress women. Fortunately, there are very brave people — men and women — who are resisting and fighting for the rights of women. These people are called feminists and the ideology they stand for is feminism. Please don’t call it stupid, because it’s not.
I said all that as gently and as firmly as I could. I don’t know if she had a change of heart or not, but I never heard her complain about feminism ever again.
Today, I go through social media and see some of the vilest and most misogynistic ideologies held by some men, and even women. Then I think to myself how much we still need feminism.
If there’s anything I want people to take from this piece, it is that feminism isn’t the same thing as misandry. Fighting for women’s rights isn’t equivalent to hating men. The two couldn’t be any more different and I hope people will see that.
Too long; didn’t read: Feminism is not stupid.
