Finding the Light When You Feel Like Your Alone on the Long Dark Nights

The lights on the path of motherhood

ADEOLA SHEEHY-ADEKALE
Modern Women

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Image by Janko Ferlic on Unsplash

Parenthood often feels like climbing Mount Everest in the dark. I wonder if I’ve made it harder on myself by having four and then choosing to home educate them all, but in all honesty, I think this is the nature of motherhood.

It began with excitement, anticipation, and a healthy dose of fear. I devoured book after book, blogs, podcasts, everything to do my research and make a plan. Running through every possible scenario as I chose the pathway that we would take. Already the overwhelming amount of conflicting information feeling like a minefield I had been stranded on to navigate blindfolded.

The worry increased as the dawning realization of responsibility hit home, a twin weight deep in my belly to match the new life growing. Then the flutter of a kick restoring the sense of wonder and I would be back on track. Facing the most epic journey of my life, with no idea what would happen. You can’t predict the variables, the weather, the other people in your group, you can’t even be 100% sure how your body will cope but you begin anyway.

Bags packed, thinking you have all the essentials but what really weighs you down are the expectations buried at the bottom.

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ADEOLA SHEEHY-ADEKALE
Modern Women

Writing on female experience, race, motherhood & self-development. Columnist at Green Parent magazine & Parenting Top Writer. Follow me on IG @adeola_moonsong.