He Told You?
The day I realized…
He told me he admired slender figures, so I pushed my body to extremes, dieting and exercising. He told me he liked fair girls, so I spent a fortune on cosmetics, lightening creams, and treatments. He told me to dress a certain way, so I discarded my favorite clothes.
He told me to hide my vulnerabilities, so with a heavy heart, I built walls around my emotions. He told me he liked long hair, so I grew mine out, enduring the hassle and discomfort. He told me to speak a certain way, so I changed my tone and vocabulary.
He told me to be more agreeable and less argumentative, so I silenced my opinions, nodding all along.
He told me to be less emotional, so I bottled up my feelings, hiding my tears and my joys. He told me to be more independent, yet complained when I spent time with my friends or focused on my career.
He told me he preferred women who didn’t wear much makeup, so I stripped away the cosmetics that made me feel confident. Yet, he also told me to always look presentable, so I spent hours trying to achieve a natural beauty that felt like a paradox.
I colored my hair, hoping to add a spark to my appearance, but he didn’t like it. So I sat in the bathtub, watching the water run red.
He told me to get rid of my scars, both physical and emotional, so with pain and effort, I buried my past deep within, pretending it never existed.
Isn’t it pathetic that i spent years of my life to be presentable to him instead all I had to do was to change the guy. Because when we broke up, I was left with a self tht didn’t belong to me. All I had left was a version of me that felt hollow and foreign. I became a polished facade, a reflection of someone else’s ideals, and in doing so, I forgot to nurture the unique and imperfect person I once loved.
The journey to meet his standards left me with a fractured sense of self, a person who no longer recognized her own worth.
Since then i have embraced my authentic self unapologetically.
In the end, I realized that no amount of change or sacrifice could ever be enough for someone who doesn’t appreciate you for who you are. Prioritize yourself love.
