I No Longer Search “How to Reduce Your Lips Size” on Google

Journey of self-discovery and self-love

Photo by Jamie Brown on Unsplash

This is actually a funny story about a time I was bullied in junior high school. At that time, I flipped my table over in response to three classmates making fun of my lips. Thinking back on it now always brings a smile to my face.

I was in the 8th grade. There were three boys whose names I wish I could still remember. They were indeed brats. I don’t remember how many times they failed a class, but from what I remember, they eventually transferred to another school, and I haven’t seen them since. I wonder what they are doing with their lives now.

My lips are thick, and my classmates mocked me for it by calling them “dower.” This is an Indonesian slang term used to insult someone with thick lips. I don’t recall the exact number of times they taunted me, but I still have a vivid memory of them surrounding me as I sat on my chair and singing a popular song with the modified lyric “Bibirmu dower~” (Re: Your lips are thick). If you’re Indonesian, you might recognize the song they parodied.

At that time, I didn’t know what insecurity was. But my previous Google searches for ways to cut down on lip size overnight show that I felt insecure. I also somewhat remember trying some of those tips to reduce the size of my lips.

Fast forward to senior high school, my problem wasn’t having thick lips anymore. Instead, I faced an identity crisis regarding how to smile in front of the camera. Ironically, I attributed this confusion to my thick lips, believing they hindered my ability to smile beautifully. If you were to look at my senior high school photos, you would notice a variety of smiles that reflect a low level of self-confidence.

There were also times when I would look at my pictures for so long just to criticize the way I was smiling. I would chastise myself and think, “I should have smiled better. That smile was terrible!”

I judged my smiles harshly.

Dear myself, I apologize for being so critical. You were on a journey of self-discovery, and I should have allowed you to enjoy the ride instead of subjecting you to my judgment. It’s true; we are often our own harshest critic.

At my current age of 22, I have finally come to realize that everyone has a unique smile, and there is no such thing as having a perfect smile.

Surprisingly, I also have finally discovered the art of smiling. I have found that I adore my smile when I show my teeth. Every time I smile in the bathroom mirror after brushing my teeth, I’m filled with a sense of joy. I feel so pretty that I just want to smile more and more.

Throughout my junior and senior high school years, I grappled with insecurities about my lips and felt unsure about how to smile authentically. But look at me now! At this stage in my life, I’m wholeheartedly embracing self-love and self-confidence. It’s heartwarming to recognize that this unique feature has become my favorite part of my body.