I Overcame My Quarter Life Crisis
I’ve given myself permission to live my best life
I had a slight crisis in my late twenties because of how little I had accomplished. I didn’t have a job I liked. I didn’t have kids; I couldn’t even decide for sure if I wanted kids. I didn’t go out and have fun with friends on random nights. I spent almost all my time at home not doing much of anything.
I would see people on social media living their best lives with their families and friends. I learned about their experiences from their last-minute trips. I read articles with titles like “10 Things to Do Before 30” and stressed because I hadn’t done those things. I worried I wasn’t taking care of myself like a real adult should. I was a pretty boring person who hadn’t done much with her life other than get married (which is still a great decision).
How did I deal with this? I could have gone out with friends at all hours of the night. I could have gotten pregnant just to make everyone stop asking about it. Instead, I got my first tattoo. Then another one. Then two more. It gave me a slight feeling of rebellion, which I had never experienced.
Crisis averted.
More importantly, I decided to question why I felt the way I did. I talked to other childless women, homebodies, and people my age who were living in stress for no good reason. I read about other people having a quarter life crisis. I watched people on Tik Tok who genuinely loved having a boring life.
I realized I wasn’t alone. The things I was feeling almost seemed normal, which was a huge relief.
But I also learned that I could be happy with myself, even if I had basically nothing figured out. I got an important newsflash: no one has it figured out.
I could be happy being childless. I could feel content still figuring out what to do for work. I didn’t have to be upset at all about only having one friend I never see (but still talk to regularly).
All the stress I had been feeling came from other people’s expectations, which had nothing to do with me.
My whole mindset changed. I was excited about doing whatever I wanted to do.
I can stay up all night researching random illnesses just for fun. I can binge every episode of Parks and Rec without interruption. I’m now working as a doula, but I can still get a new job any time I want and no one can stop me. No one has the right to say anything about it.
Just because society thinks I should have hit certain goals by 30 doesn’t mean they’re right. To follow what anyone else expects of me only hurts me.
I now have back and foot pain from working jobs I hated. I gained student loan debt from choosing a college major I didn’t really want. I have to deal with a mortgage and home repairs from rushing to buy a house before I got married. All because someone else expected those things of me, whether society, family members, or whoever. All because I thought I needed to do those things.
I’ve been putting pressure on myself for no good reason.
I just turned thirty years old, and it feels no different. It’s almost disappointing. All that stress for nothing. Nothing in my life has changed. I still have no kids. I still only have one friend. I still stay home as much as possible. But I’m genuinely happy with where I’m at. I’m happy with who I am. I’m on my own journey.
People close to me say I look young but act old. I say I like what I like and I do what I want. I wish I could go back and tell 27-year-old me to calm down and focus more on what made her truly happy. Isn’t that what we all should be doing?
Then again, it if weren’t for this crisis, I wouldn’t have tattoos that I love. So maybe the stress was worth it.
