I Want To Love But Am Terrified Of Being Hurt
I was in the company of friends sometime ago and in the middle of something I was saying, someone suddenly interrupted me asking; “why do you always say you’re too busy to have a steady relationship?”
So I started to defend myself as usual but somewhere along the line, I realized I wasn’t fooling anybody, not even me. How in the name of all that’s good do you not have time to connect with other people?
I had gotten so used to ‘being too busy to love’ that I’ve alienated my friends, and even myself from making new friends. But the truth was that somewhere deep inside, it boiled down to being afraid of being hurt.
This is an emotion we all feel, the fear of hurt. we are afraid to be hurt or perhaps have been hurt before and so we mistrust our instinct and build walls around our emotions and feelings.
I was in a relationship last year where I felt controlled and emotionally manipulated most of the time. At a point, it felt like I was in a relationship with a bulldozer that just won’t budge.
I found myself for the first time ever in such an unhappy place because for the first time in my life, I let someone in who wouldn’t accept any other truth but his. I went through several depressive episodes, lost an important account I was handling at work and then eventually…
