It Seems Hard For Some Men To Just Listen
I’d be a fearless leader
I’d be an alpha type
When everyone believes ya
What’s that like?
Taylor Swift, “The Man”
It is both a fascinating and a terrible time to be a woman.
It’s probably a statement that will always be true, but in 2024, to be a woman is to see so much progress evaporate, regenerate, and evaporate — constantly.
Some days it is fine—and in the case of women’s health, I remain cautiously optimistic about progress. And whenever I hear about a panel or an event in FemTech, I rush to sign up for it because I often feel so positive.
It’s been heartening to see this sector's growth and stories of new products, research and analysis, and VC firms and increased funding build by and for women’s health. So tonight, I was happy to see Beyond the Glass Ceiling: Investment in FemTech happening in NYC with three founders and a moderator as part of the BIOTECH XYZ initiative. Moderated by Sabriya Stukes, Partner at SOSV and Chief Scientific Officer at IndieBio. the audience got to hear from Marissa Fayer (CEO and founder of HERhealthEQ, CEO of DeepLook Medical), Lanna Last (CEO and Co-Founder of AIMA Inc.) and Eve McDavid (CEO & Co-Founder of Mission-Driven Tech) share their founder journies. It was wonderful to learn firsthand from the challenges of women running femtech companies — to understand how their companies started, the global landscape of where femtech might be successful, and, in particular, to understand the challenges and opportunities around how funding can help. Each of the speakers spoke about how their work in cervical cancer, medical imaging for breast cancer and period relief all evolved as they experienced funding challenges and successes in scaling out their business, and the complexity of how to tailor their startups to meet both market needs and secure funding for growth. One of the founders said literally brings her father into VC meetings with her (as her ‘senior advisor’) so they feel more comfortable talking about women’s body parts with her endometriosis-centered startup if there’s another guy in the room.
Then the men at the event spoke.
The first one spent a good 5 minutes in a standard ‘I don’t have a question, more of a comment’ during the Q&A, and proceeded to tell us as an analyst his perspective of venture capitalists and funding. He was also surprised at the downward trend in cervical cancer screenings because he thought ‘women were still getting Pap smears, aren’t they?’ Thankfully Sabriya got us back on track to the panelists. Interestingly after his CommentQuestion was cut off, he and his two older male friends left the room. I suppose there was nothing left to learn for them now that the statement was made.
The second question was another CommentQuestion hybrid and it spoke to a need to dismiss women in public. It’s nothing new, but shocking to see so blatantly and severely. The man who spoke discussed his experiences with securing venture capital, and seemed somewhat bemused and confused on how on earth anyone in femtech was having problems getting investors, because he was able to. There was no question — just a comment. And when the panelists noted that in fact what they needed was those introductions to VC firms that he had that were receptive, there was no obvious logical, response of “sure, I’d be happy to introduce you”.
Just silence, him staring. And no response.
Just the goal achieved — to dismiss us, to see our efforts as not enough, not believable, and just — no. Somehow not real. He quite literally listened to a panel of three women and said ‘no, I haven’t had that experience — so yours didn’t matter’.
Imagine having the hubris to listen to 3 successful women doing important work for others, who all have professional credentials — including not only successfully funded startups, but in the case of Mission Driven Tech, partnering with institutional partners like Weill Cornell Medicine.
Imagine hearing those challenges around being dismissed in boardrooms, and after hearing them, standing up and saying “that’s not my experience”. On a panel event talking about the challenges of femtech and funding.
Imagine feeling you have a right to dismiss other people publicly.
Just imagine.
Tonight I’m trying to prioritize the lessons I heard of the founders and prioritize their voices, but also wonder how many times boardrooms and conferences and panels seem to reinforce how poorly the state of being a woman entrepreneur can be. And how many women have felt dismissed in their doctors offices around their health as well — which is why femtech has felt so empowering.
And in the back of my mind as I was headed to the event, I was already no doubt a little on edge, aware of crime in New York targeting women, including multiple coordinated incidents of women being punched in daylight in Manhattan. As I participate in feminist communities and groups of women designers, there is this tension in the background of all these discussions — this ‘what is the experience of being a woman, in 2024’. There is this celebration of women supporting each other, and in the case of femtech and women’s health, of celebrating a growing sector to address the lack of research, innovation and commercialization of women’s healthcare products, a need so many women have had for so long.
Yet at events to understand our experiences and discussions about unique healthcare challenges and funding, we still get naysayers standing up and publicly discounting us.
I don’t understand how this is acceptable to men in public, to stand up and dismiss the work of others trying their best to quite literally save people’s lives.
I don’t want to see a panel with 3 women and a moderator ever be dismissed again. We can talk about what has happened in the past 10+ years in civic discourse, where people are emboldened to embrace rudeness to others in public. We can also just let women talk — to share their experiences and celebrate their work building solutions without a ‘yes but…’
I doubt the man who felt the need to dismiss them will ever learn. I do know he likely has a mother, and family members, and friends, and coworkers who are female.
Those women could be experiencing cervical cancer, breast cancer, and live with endometriosis and other women’s health challenges. If anything he should be celebrating the companies that seek to heal them, and connect them to funders, and scale out the efforts, and see how the innovations of small startups could scale out to become public health success stories — to eradicate diseases that rob too many women of their lives.
But it’s easier for him to dismiss them. More than anything, I feel sorry for him.
