Member-only story
Life Isn’t a Problem to Solve — It’s an Experience to Live
Life isn’t something you conquer. It’s something you move through, moment by moment — grief, joy, and everything in between
For a long time, I thought healing meant “getting over” everything.
Get over the breakup. Get over the anxiety.
Get over the childhood wounds.
I saw pain like a hurdle: something to clear, something to move past, something that shouldn’t be there.
But life doesn’t really work like that.
I remember sitting on my friend Rachel’s couch, a few months after my dad died. I hadn’t really talked about it with anyone.
Not properly. I kept saying things like, “I’m okay,” or “I’m dealing with it.” The usual stuff. And then one night, out of nowhere, I just started crying.
“I don’t think I’m ever going to get over this,” I said.
Rachel didn’t flinch. She just handed me a tissue and said, “Who said you have to?”
I stared at her. “I don’t know. I just thought… eventually, this would stop hurting.”
She nodded. “It might hurt less. But maybe the goal isn’t to stop feeling it. Maybe the goal is just… to…
