Living In Perpetual Motion
What Shade of Green is your Envy?
More than ever lately I’ve found myself comparing my life to women who are my age but who chose not to have children. I realise that I’m comparing polar opposites, it would be hard to create a life more full of children than that of a single mother of four home educated young people, but because it is ‘normal’ to me I dismiss the daily labour of it and seek to live the life I imagine this ‘free’ woman leads.
I value her career, and the calm moments she creates in her day to meditate, to move with purpose, and to journal and express herself. I covet this imagined perfect existence. Irritated by this inability I seem to have, to be grateful and satisfied by my own life, I’ve been asking myself what it is exactly that I believe she has that I don’t? We all know the grass isn’t greener, but what shade of green is it that I am chasing?
It used to be a shade of green found in sharp, smart business clothes and in the faces of colleagues that would admire or respect me. It was a green that spoke of intelligence, new ideas and the kind of wealth that builds comfort.
Nowadays it’s a softer shade, one that brings to mind moss under toes, dappled light through leaves, the rhythmic breathing of a steady heart and the voice and arms of a love that catches you when you need to…
