Mother’s On Display: Part Two
Ways your children are learning from your behavior that you may not have noticed.
Just as I mention in Mother’s On Display: Unintentional Modeling, part one of this article, children are watching and learning from everything their mothers are doing, regardless of intention.
What are you reading this on? Kids are viewing our relationship with technology at every hour of the day.
Addiction to smartphones, TVs, and computers, can extend to our kids. Not only are we leading by example, we’re also potentially missing out on moments that we should have been present for. On the other hand, having a camera always with us means we get to share first steps with extended family. It means we can text their pediatrician at dinnertime. We can make special memories of watching The Grinch in our bed around Christmas. Technology may also rule the lives of our adult children, so why not allow them to master it early? Regardless of how we feel about our relationship with phones and tablets, your kids are watching and learning your habits.
From the beginning, our babies see how we apologize and make connections afterward.
Personally, I apologize to my kids all day long. “Your tummy is hurting? Oh, I’m so sorry I can’t help you go potty, you’ve got to do that on your own.”
“I’m very sorry your red crayon rolled under the couch would you like an orange one?”
Opposite to this, it’s a lot less frequent that I let them in on me apologizing to my husband.
When was the last time you apologized to a loved one while your child watched? Depending on the disagreement, some parents may chose to have serious conversations away from their child. This is a good practice, as children shouldnt have to think about financial struggles or other adult problems (like me apologizing for being a complete bitch when I was 36 Weeks pregnant and angry with my husband for being diagnosed with cancer that week!) I insist you let them have a childhood. But when appropriate, a child witnessing a true and heartfelt apology between adults can change their lives.
In every day life, our kids see how we treat people with differences.
Every detail of our able-bodied lives can be a lesson to our children, even the stalls we use in public restrooms. As someone who has worked with children with disabilities, my kids see me making changes to support people with disability as often as possible. I want them to be helpful people, especially if they have the privilege of being able to help. When our maintenance man, who is deaf, comes to our apartment to help fix our garbage disposal my kids see that we communicate in a different way– by writing text into our phones. They see that prior to him knocking, I have phone in hand with a notepad open. These tiny changes in behavior will hopefully go a long way in how they treat the people around them.
Again, kids are picking up details from everything we do in life, not just the life lessons we share with them intentionally.
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-LaChelle
