MOTHERHOOD
My Son Prefers His Father Over Me
Choosing to let go of mom guilt surrounding parental preference
My 11-month-old son doesn’t like me as much as he likes his dad.
When dad comes home, excitement ensues and squeals are heard.
He seems to pace while dad takes a shower and keeps looking up at the staircase because he knows dad will be coming down soon.
If dad is home, he doesn’t want to be in my arms.
Only dad’s arms will do.
To contrast, he doesn’t seem to notice when I leave.
When I come home, there is no expressed excitement or squeals of delight.
Why does it seem like he doesn’t care when I’m leaving?
Does he notice when I’m gone?
Why isn’t he excited when I get home?
He has made it clear that he prefers his dad.
This parental preference for his father has been on my mind more than I care to admit.
I keep thinking about all the reasons he may have developed it.
Is it because we failed to bond in those first few months postpartum due to the stress of a traumatic labor?
Is it because we had a rocky breastfeeding journey that ended at 4 months postpartum?
Is it because I don’t play with him enough?
I know the thoughts are not real, but they are there.
Yet, somewhere in all the negative thoughts, I asked myself:
Does it bother me when my son shows love for his dad?
The answer is:
Not one bit.
I love seeing them together. Their bond is incredible.
I hear only giggles and laughs as I finish cooking dinner.
My son is not yet a year old, but you can see the way he looks up at his dad with admiration.
He adores him. I have no question as to why.
Dad knows his routine.
He knows when his naps are.
He knows when he gets his bottles.
He knows how many ounces he drinks.
He knows his favorite foods.
He knows his favorite toys.
He knows what makes him laugh.
He knows what makes him upset.
He’s present.
That’s more than I could ask for in my son’s dad.
That’s far more than I had as a child.
That’s why I’m choosing to let go of the mom guilt.
I’m choosing to be thankful instead.
Thank you for reading!
If you’re a parent, do/did your children have a parental preference?
