My Thoughts On Foodie Calls
A woman on Tik Tok says she went on 16 dinner dates in a row because she didn’t have money for food.
There was a video posted in March that has been circulating around on Tik Tok. In the video, a woman—who I won’t mention the name of because I don’t want to put her on blast—shares in a text caption:
“in college when I ran out of money for food I went on a dating app and for 16 days I had 16 dinner dates in a row… girl gotta eat”
And, as you might expect, people had differing opinions.
While some people were impressed by what she did, others felt that she was being exploitative.
She also stated in the comments, “To clarify all these men asked me out on dates.”
Personally, I’d like to believe that I would never do something like this—although I’ve never reached a point where I’ve needed to consider going on dates as a way to get something to eat.
But I do think it’s a bit unfair to the men she dated. They might have been looking for a real relationship, and she wasted their time because she was not clear about her intentions. At least, I don’t think she explicitly told any of them that she was only dating for a free meal.
It’s never okay to take advantage of another person’s kindness. A lot of men offer to pay for the date, usually because they feel that it’s the courteous thing to do and want to put in an effort to show their interest. But if you’re not planning on doing the same in return, then why take away the guy’s time and money?
In my opinion, it’s disrespectful to take advantage of the person you’re on a date with—or anyone, for that matter.
Of course, like I’ve mentioned before, I have never been in a situation where I’ve become so desperate as to rely on going out on dates to fill my stomach. Maybe it was the only viable option she had at the time, who knows?
But just because something needs to be done, does that make it the right thing to do? I don’t think so.
She’s not the only person to do this, though. “Foodie calls” are a real thing.
Yes, you read that right.
An online study found that 23–33% of women claim that they have gone on dates with people they are not romantically interested in, for the sole purpose of getting free food. And it was mostly the women who have engaged in “foodie calls” that also found this behavior to be acceptable.
To each their own, I guess.
The women who took part in the study were also asked to answer some questions that measured their personality traits, and those who have been involved in “foodie calls” scored higher for the “dark triad” traits. One of the researchers, Brian Collisson, said this regarding these personality traits:
“Several dark traits have been linked to deceptive and exploitative behavior in romantic relationships, such as one-night stands, faking an orgasm, or sending unsolicited sexual pictures.”
Well, I guess that’s something to look out for next time you’re on a date.
And any person of any gender can engage in “foodie calls”—not only women.
However, I do see how it’s easier for women to do this. Chivalry is still, a lot of times, expected from men in today’s society—especially when it comes to dating. In a survey by Money and SurveyMonkey, 78% of the 4,447 participants said that men should pay for the first date, with 85% of men and 72% of women agreeing with this.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with a man paying on the first date—but just because this has become customary, it doesn’t mean that it’s obligatory.
Everyone can choose what they want to do with their own money. Regardless of gender, no one should be compelled to pay for their dates. If one person offers to pay for all parties on a date, then that’s very nice of them. And if that person doesn’t want to pay for your portion, then that should be socially acceptable as well.
So if you go on a date and are expecting the other person to pay for you, don’t be surprised when they don’t!
And yes, I know that everyone’s financial situation is different. There are times when people will be in need of help and aren’t left with many choices. Even if that’s the case, I just don’t think taking advantage of another person is the right way to go about it.
But, then again—to each their own.
Want to read more by A.X.? Feel free to check out this article, where I share my thoughts after reading the play ‘Top Girls’ by Caryl Churchill:
