Perfect Girl in an Imperfect World
The narrative of perfectionism and how we can overcome it
In second grade I came home from school with an A on a math test. Math was a subject I struggled with a lot as a young child, needing extra help and even tutoring in the subject from an early age. What can I say, my brain is just more wired towards words I guess? So, getting an A in math was kind of a big deal. I remember my mom taking the test from my hands, scanning it, and saying “It’s good, but I know you have A+ in you. Let’s aim higher next time.”
That was my earliest encounter with perfectionism. That despite the effort it took my then tiny hands to pull myself up by my bootstraps in this subject, a good grade would always be a moving target.
As time went on, I saw perfectionist tendencies in the women around me, many of whom were powerful, high-ranking career women (my mom included). I began to understand and contextualize their perfectionism as a commitment to excellence, a misguided belief that being hard on yourself and never being satisfied, equates to having high standards.
I eventually adopted some of those perfectionist behaviors. For years I engaged in an inner battle with trying to be perfect and coming up short, blaming myself for not being able to achieve it through sheer force of will until I…
