Put Loving Yourself At The Very Top Of Your 'Things To Do Today' List.
It’s the most important decision you could ever make.
I’ve spent a lifetime making sure that I love myself wholly, and unapologetically.
I’ve worked at ensuring that I loved myself enough that I didn’t feel like being loved by someone else was a need so much as a want.
In doing so, I feel like I have managed to avoid a lot of the problems that is a recurring theme in other people’s relationships, while I must admit that my relationships probably have some issues that others lack. It’s a crapshoot I guess.
Loving oneself above all else is a task easier said than done, and with it comes a certain amount of alienation.
To look at your lover and tell them that you love you more than you love them is basically telling them that you will always come first. Your wants and needs vs. their wants and needs. Telling another person that you will do what’s right for you, even if it’s not compatible with what’s right for them is something that doesn’t sit well with most people. I think in part because we’ve been raised in an environment where appeasing someone else’s sensibilities is something we’ve had indoctrinated into us since birth.
We’ve been taught that silent acquiescence and blind subservience are admirable qualities, and while they may be lovely, in theory, instilling those traits in others has created a lot of automatons, and living doormats, absent of any individuality, lacking the courage to draw a line in the sand that isn’t to be crossed. Instead, we feel like we will be shunned if we set boundaries within our relationships.
Being encouraged to subdue the more authentic aspects of who we are, quelling the inclinations that make us unique, breeds contempt.
Praising conformity and embracing mediocrity is snuffing out the fires of creativity and passion. Blending in with the scenery is making us lose our sharpness and clarity.
Loving oneself in this type of social climate is not an undertaking for the weak. Not only accepting but embracing, in their entirety, ones shortcomings, and flaws is not for the faint of heart. It takes fortitude, and it takes determination.
To look at yourself and be truly content and satisfied with your quirks, your prejudices, your hangups, and your limitations is something most people would never consider doing.
I am quick to tell people that I got no problems today with what makes me, me. I put a lot of time into self-discovery, into figuring out why I am the way that I am, into accepting the fact that I will never be perfect.
I wake up each day with the experiences that I’ve had, the hard times I’ve been through, the obstacles I’ve faced, and the victories that I have won. Each day I can look at my reflection in the mirror and see a woman who’s been through hell and made it back to the other side, a woman who has survived her childhood, survived the woman who created her, and has managed to keep some semblance of sanity in the process.
I see a woman still beautiful, still full of wonder, and awe, and still capable of experiencing unadulterated joy at the least expected moment.
I look, and I see a woman that I am so infinitely proud of, and how could I love her any less?
