Setting Boundaries at 28
How Learning to Say “No” Transformed My Life and Saved My Sanity
A year ago, setting boundaries was as foreign to me as trying to master the art of high-stakes poker. Growing up in an Indian household, where people-pleasing was the norm, I never learned to say “no.” But turning 28 has shown me how crucial boundaries are, and it’s been a total game-changer.
I used to be the person who said yes to every request, even if it meant overloading my plate. Take the time when a colleague asked me to take on her project at the last minute. I agreed, even though I was already swamped with my own work. The result? A mountain of stress and a less-than-stellar performance. That experience taught me that setting boundaries is essential to avoid burnout.
One notable experience was when I was constantly saying yes to every plan my friends proposed. Whether it was a last-minute dinner, an impromptu road trip, or attending every social event, I was there, even if it meant sacrificing my own needs and time. This overcommitment led to burnout and frustration.
It wasn’t until I started setting limits on my availability and prioritizing my own needs that I found a healthier balance and actually enjoyed spending time with friends.
Another challenge was dealing with old-school comments and opinions from family and relatives. For example, I often heard comments like, “You should be more focused on settling down,” or “Why aren’t you following the traditional career path?” or “Why did you colour your hair?”.
Initially, these remarks would leave me feeling defensive and upset. However, I am learning to set mental boundaries, accepting that their views are shaped by different experiences while staying true to my own goals and values.
The biggest reward from setting boundaries has been a boost in self-respect and confidence. It’s not about being rude; it’s about valuing your own needs and time. So, if you’re struggling with limits, remember: boundaries are vital for a balanced, fulfilling life.
Share your own boundary-setting experiences or tips in the comments. Let’s support each other on this journey!
