Stay At Home Moms — Your Career Is Not In The Dumps
Overcoming prejudices and biases is hard; yet easier than you think
I’ve been a Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) for a grand total of 4 years! It took me 1.5 years to finally feel normal after my first child, and another 2 to cope with having 2 children under 3. And so, I’ve been back on the job hunt for the past 6 months. And boy, has it been humbling.
I have sent out hundreds of applications and received only 3 interviews. And it was from connections/people who had introduced me to the job.
The funny thing is, I absolutely understand why recruiters won’t want to hire a 35-year-old mom of two. There is zero incentive when you can hire and train a fresh graduate at a lower pay grade, with energy that bounces off the walls, and best of all, zero family commitments.
Isn’t the point of this article to be motivational, not demotivational?
Well yes, I am getting to that. It is so easy to get trapped in what I call a demotivational spiral. After receiving rejection after rejection, I felt like the only person I could blame was me:
I couldn’t convince a single stranger that I was ‘hiring material’, even with my 10 years of experience running multiple businesses.
Leadership skills, check. Communication skills, check. People management, check. Business acumen, check. Sales and Marketing, check!
In case you’re wondering if I’m an outlier, there are many women who experienced the same story trajectory as I did. A Harvard Business Review research article even stated:
Stay-At-Home-Parents were half as likely to get a job interview as parents who got laid off, and only one-third as likely as employed parents.
And if you’re wondering if prejudices against stay-at-home moms are real, just let the following statistics sink in:
A stunning 41% of workers perceive working mothers to be less committed to their work, while 38% judge mothers for needing more flexibility at work.
Closing the ‘Gap’
To prove critics wrong, the first thing I did was to NOT let them believe what they wanted; that I would be less committed to the role, solely there for the benefits and monthly pay cheque.
But how can I convince someone that the past 4 years of being a SAHM haven’t been spent doing naught?
I could:
a. Add ‘Motherhood’ to my resume
b. Fill in the ‘gap’
Trust me, it’s VERY tempting to go for option a. There is even a trend encouraging mothers to place ‘Motherhood’ on their resumes. While I am not fully against the idea, I believe option b could prove more fruitful in the long run. Not to mention, it provides for a more interesting and thoughtful conversation with a recruiter.
The last thing recruiters want to hear is about how you displayed people management skills by convincing your two kids that sharing a balloon is a good idea. Or how successfully potty-training your 3-year-old was your biggest accomplishment as a SAHM (it was mine, anyway).
Instead, I started a side hustle selling baby and toddler-friendly meals. In interviews, I talked about how I identified an underserved niche in the market and also picked up new transferable skills in the fields of E-commerce and digital marketing. Additionally, I talked about how I managed to build new connections on a daily basis.
I’m not asking you to build a new side hustle or business just to prove a point. But there are many other avenues for SAHMs to gain new skills and opportunities to network.
Getting involved in volunteer work or a new sport, picking up new skills on Linkedin or Coursera (look out for free courses), or even learning a new language are some of the few things a SAHM can do to boost their employability.
Wanna hear a secret? Picking up a new skill is also a confidence-boosting endeavor.
Networking is still very much ‘The New Black’
I can’t stress the importance of networking enough. I mentioned earlier that out of the hundreds of applications I sent out, I had only 3 callbacks. and ALL THREE were from personal connections.
3 important things to note:
- When a friend or acquaintance recommends you for a role, it’s already telling your potential employer that a friend is willing to risk his or her reputation by vouching for you. Because if it turns out you’re not a good fit for the job, or that you’re a psycho, said friend will be truly embarrassed.
- Linked In is truly a god-sent. Use it to your advantage to reach out to friends — old and new. It can get pretty overwhelming, but the feature I loved best was looking at advertised roles, and seeing which connection was able to link me to those roles.
- Do not be shy. If you see a role you want, even if you don’t think you can do it, just apply for it. Also, don’t hesitate to hit up old acquaintances. There is the belief that an acquaintance might think you’re just ‘using’ them to get the job. That’s not true at all. Most, if not all are quite happy to help. Down the road, they may ask for a favor in return.
Key takeaways for SAHMs getting back on the career bandwagon
It’s scary AF. I know. I’ve been doing this professionally unemployed thing for so long that my biggest fear is that I won’t EVER get hired. My second biggest fear is that I’ll eventually get hired but be terrible at it, ultimately proving critics right.
When it gets too overwhelming and depressing just to think about it, I tell myself to take it one step at a time, and you can too:
- Fill the ‘Gap’
- Build your network
- Don’t be afraid to ask
