The Fear That Stalks Me
Aging isn’t about appearances, it’s about what I stand to loose
From the moment I wrote this month’s prompt theme for Modern Women, I knew I would have to respond to it. I’m 44, and I’ll be 45 in just eight weeks. There feels like something monumental in that number, a definite landing in ‘middle age’
One of the biggest fears I have about ageing isn’t what I will look like or the slow disintegration of my body’s ability to move as well as I want it to, it’s about the people around me.
I’ve loved the vampire myth for as long as I can remember, being present for Anne Rice’s rise to fame in the 90’s didn’t hurt, but as much as I fantasied about living forever, there was a curse that came with the gift that was reflected in my own life.
The longer you live, the more people you will have to loose.
An Irish child, I come from a large extended family and my childhood was shaped by funerals and weddings. Both were celebrations of sorts and times enveloped in family, but one of them terrified me about the future.
I remember my first open casket. My Nana’s waxy skin and frozen expression. It felt like an eternity that we stood in the room with her, and the crowds queued along the street outside, taking their turn to spend a moment of farewell…
