The Freedom in Quitting
And Finding Your True Path
This whole conversation came alive over the weekend when our dear friends paid us a visit. They seemed burdened, contemplating a move to a new place due to the relentless challenges they’ve faced amidst the soaring inflation rates. As we sat talking, I couldn’t help but ask, “But why not go back home? Wouldn’t it be relatively easier to pick up from where you left off, rather than starting all over again in a new place?”
The look they gave me said it all. “How can we?” she replied with a hint of defeat in her voice. “People will judge and say we couldn’t make it here, that we just gave up.”
And I realized, she wasn’t wrong. People can be quick to judge without grasping the full story. They’d mutter, “Oh, she invested so much to go and came back empty-handed? How could she just give up without trying? Why not stick it out like XYZ?” It’s disheartening, really. I often wonder how people find the time to dissect someone else’s life without knowing the struggles they’ve endured. It’s as if they hastily jump to conclusions that suit their narratives.
Shouldn’t people be allowed to change their minds? If a situation isn’t fostering their well-being, mental health, or personal growth, if it’s causing harm or proving unproductive, then shouldn’t quitting be a viable option? The fear of being labeled a quitter is precisely what holds so many people hostage in unhappy situations. And those who do break free often find themselves battling mental turmoil. It’s a lose-lose situation. Worse even, if one doesn’t fit in either category, they are promptly branded as “thick-skinned” or “stone-hearted.”
Personally, I’ve been there. I’ve proudly worn the badge of a quitter. After tirelessly searching for three years, I finally secured a job in a cosmetic manufacturing company as a Quality Assurance Inspector. It wasn’t a high-paying job, but for a Pharmaceutical Graduate who had spent more time as a cashier than anticipated, it was a significant milestone. I was ecstatic, even though the daily commute demanded two hours each way. However, a mere 1.5 months into the role, I realized it wasn’t my calling. It wasn’t the work itself but the toxic office politics and the load of three people piled onto my shoulders while being paid for one.
When I confided in my friends about quitting just six weeks into the job, they bombarded me with a plethora of reasons to stay put. But none of it resonated with me. How could I continue when it was taking such a toll on my well-being? Despite the warnings from my loved ones about the struggles of finding another job with no employment in hand, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had made the right choice.
And so, one morning, I strolled into my manager’s office and handed in my notice. You wouldn’t believe how elated I felt. It was a celebration of liberation. The aftermath was predictable — I was met with a lecture about how I wasn’t “cut out” for corporate life because “that’s just the way it is.” But I didn’t care. If I didn’t fit in, so be it. I was determined to find my right fit. And guess what? I am still in the same field and I couldn’t be happier. Yes, it took time to land another job, and there were moments of doubt, but I am immensely proud that I chose to quit something that was dragging me down.
This narrative of resilience and the courage to quit is not confined to my personal experience but is also mirrored in the life of a dear relative. After enduring four years of emotional abuse within her marriage, she found the strength to walk away. The decision was far from simple, and she constantly grappled with doubts about her own integrity. During our frequent meetings, she sought reassurance, questioning whether she was making the right choice. Leaving behind something she once held dear was an emotionally challenging process. It’s a painful realization to acknowledge that what you once cherished is slowly eroding your inner well-being.
However, the journey she embarked on was undeniably worth the struggle. By summoning the courage to quit the toxic marriage, she made room for a brighter future. She has since remarried, and now she’s living the life she genuinely deserves. This would have remained an unattainable dream had she chosen to endure the emotional torture and stay.
To sum it up
I firmly believe in giving your 100% to something or someone you’ve committed to. But when it starts to harm you more than it benefits you, no matter how hard you try, understand that it’s time to let go. Clinging onto it will only cause more damage. The path ahead might not always be smooth, and the decision may not always be straightforward, but ask yourself if it’s truly worth the pain and struggle.
And as for society? Well, they’ll always have something to say, won’t they? Whether you’re not brave enough to leave a toxic situation or you didn’t try hard enough and stayed, they’ll have their opinions ready. But they aren’t living your life or experiencing your battles.
In the end, the most important judgment you should heed is your own, and your happiness should be your ultimate guide.
Cause sometimes, quitting isn’t about giving up; it’s about reclaiming one’s life and paving the way for a happier, healthier future ❤
