The Impact of Mindfulness on Mental Well-being: A Comprehensive Guide for Mothers
Mindfulness as a tool can have a profound effect on mental well-being and in turn, Motherhood.
This shit is hard. I’ve never experienced a more demanding role, I’m stretched in all directions and I’ve had to learn to continue on with my day regardless of wanting to escape. As a mother to three sons under five, I’ve discovered that the only way I’ll get through this with my mental health intact is if I can regroup and recharge in the five seconds it takes me to pee. I’ve found that through mindfulness I have a chance to do just that.
Understanding what Mindfulness does for me as a mother.
To be able to do this super-speed regrouping of my feelings, I have to begin in a more aware state in the first place. If I am already aware that I am feeling anxious because my one-year-old has started up the inconsolable crying again (we are currently in the trenches of Hand/Foot/Mouth Disease, and the crying is a doozy), I am already in a better state to go into the bathroom and search for calmer breathing.
It’s like a fast track to understanding what I need, I’m spending less time wondering why I feel a certain way, and instead focusing on how to rearrange myself to be able to continue immediately. I know I’m anxious because I’m afraid of another sleepless night, but I don’t need to be the 2 am me when it’s only 4:15 pm. And my kids don’t help, they still need dinner.
Someone else can probably explain it better than me. According to the Oxford Dictionary, Mindfulness is: “a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.”
Mindfulness helps more than motherhood. In general, I believe it has the power to reduce stress, enhance focus, and most importantly for me, promote emotional regulation. I imagine there may also be positive physical health effects such as lower blood pressure and improved quality of sleep based on what it does for me (as long as my kid isn’t sick.) And with a greater sense of self-awareness, one might have more resilience in general facing life's challenges.
Regarding techniques, you can always try my “5 seconds of deep breaths in the bathroom”. This works for me short term, but there are others that I’ve found on YouTube in times of desperation. Body Scan Meditation, which focuses on connecting with physical sensations from your toes up to your brain can help to bring you back into the moment very literally. The issue with this technique: we don’t have the time for this, we’re mothers. I prefer to have calm on speed dial.
Regarding Mindful Parenting, you can apply self-awareness of your body to your daily interactions with your kids very easily.
I find that when I don’t feel well I have a much shorter temper with the kids. I am aware of this, I am mindful of this. If I physically move a little slower I can remain the mother I need to be while allowing my body to be cradled like it wishes to be. A real-world example of this, I recently had a hysterectomy and was limping around for a week or so. I was kind to myself while making the kids microwaved chicken nuggets by doing so at a snail’s pace. They got their nugs, I didn’t have severe pain. A win-win.
Self-compassion is another layer of mindfulness that I would say is very important.
I’m working on this one myself, as I don’t practice good self-care. Listen to your body, sit when you need to, and have some water when you need to. Your kids don’t always have to come first–especially if their needs are already met. You, objectively, are a body that has needs also. You, as a person, have to have these needs met to be able to function. I have found myself saying things to my toddlers like, “I am a person, you can’t speak to me like that” and begging my husband to explain to me when these kids will recognize that I do everything for them and they make me feel like it’s never enough. It’s a thankless job, so far, and the most important compassion I’m going to get is from myself.
The creation of a mindful home environment is a joke, I will be buried in trikes for the time being. I feel like nothing in this home is mine, nothing is sacred or off limits to being destroyed by children. But this is something that I have accepted. I’m mindful of the fact that this is temporary, I will have my things returned to me, and I will have neatness and order later in my life. Now is the chapter for messes and love.
So, mindfulness as a tool should be infused into every portion of your day. I encourage you to integrate it into your lives to improve your journey through motherhood. I find it helps me be the mother I wish to be when I’m pouring from an empty cup.
-LaChelle
