The Mic Malfuntioned and I got Laughed at
Stage fright in young girls and my squiggly dance with it
As a young lady who is no more afraid of public speaking while being an introvert, I want to share my story for all the girls who deal with stage fright.
The whole story will get looong so,
Let’s start right from the middle.
It was a nice winter morning and I was standing in front of an audience of more than a thousand students. Yes, students of grade 6 to 10.
It was the morning assembly time, every one was assembled in our school ground and I was, at that time, the Head girl of my high school (High school is till grade 10 where I live. And 11,12 is college, then university-a bit different.)
It was Mental health week and I had to deliver a speech on the taboo that accompanies mental health issues.
To be honest, I wasn’t nervous. I felt pretty comfortable in front of my fellow students because I had been doing that for years.
I was well-prepared. I had my points written down on flashcards. I had watched a lot of Ted Talks the night before and I was excited because I had planned a twist- an activity:
I was going to ask the students to close their eyes and raise their hands if they had a mental health issue and then I had planned to ask them to open their eyes and keep their hand in the air if they want, or lower it. I knew many will lower it and that was how I had planned to show them the stigma, the taboo associated with mental illness.
So, back to the speech. My name was announced and it started well BUT then came the moment I will never forget.
The mic stopped working.
I was speaking but nobody in the large, wide ground could hear me.
Awkward silence… The students looked at each other’s faces.
Giggles.
Laughter.
There were so many students that not everyone could see me and when the mic stopped, they thought that I had ‘forgotten’ what to say. Everybody thought that I had stopped speaking so they started laughing.
Now, when I look back, it was quite normal for 12, 13, 16 year olds to giggle in such a moment but at that time, I was a 16 year old too.
I thought they were laughing at me, they were making fun of me.
I remember those faces. The faces of boys laughing at me. I now realize that it was what most young girls were afraid of.
They are afraid of forgetting what to say. And people, especially boys, laughing at them. This might not be the case for everyone but it was, for most of my school fellows.
After that day, I wanted to hide in a hole. I felt embarrased and humiliated. Yes, a little setback like that made me question all my abilities, and the same is the case with most teenage girls.
I could have vowed not to speak in front of an audience ever again, but a thought struck me.
I had a sudden realization that look, the world has not ended. All your friends are right there and everyone still loves you just the same.
Everybody seemed to have forgotten about it the next day. They seemed respect me just the same for being the Head girl they voted for.
Strangely enough, that morning made me forget what stage fright was.
It made me realize that even if the worst things happens, it is not as bad as it is in your thoughts. The world won’t end if you make a mistake in front of even a million people.
To this day, whenever I am nervous, I think that what is the worst that could possibly happen!? Let it happen, then. I’ll deal with it.
It also made me understand that mistakes only set you free. Every mistake will make you more confident. Once you embrace imperfection, you will be free of the chains of overthinking and over-whelming thoughts.
To every girl and every lady out there, believe me, the worst thing I had imagined never ever happened. And even if it does, it is never as bad as it is in our thoughts. We just keep overthinking and never try to get out of the bubble we create for ourselves.
To burst that bubble and face the world, even if you come across as imperfect and flawed, is better than hiding in a hole and being ‘perfect’ in your own little world.
Nobody will push you, you have to push yourself. Believe me when I say, once you face a setback, you will fly higher than ever and there will be no going back!
