The Moment I Decided to Leave

The shift that became my rebirth

It descended upon me quietly, barely a whisper. The realization blurred my vision of him and muddled the vitriol coming from his mouth. I could hear him, but only enough to know that he was still sitting 10 feet away just in case he still had Covid, or perhaps the distance was because I just didn’t want to be any nearer to him.

The harsh repetitive words circled around me, coming near me, but not quite touching me. Not this time. There were no tears, there were no comments back. There was nothing from me. I just stared at him. He didn’t seem to notice as he just went on and on and on as though what he had to say was new and worthy of listening.

I anticipated this moment, but I thought it would come in like rushing water, engulfing me, perhaps even forcing me to run out the door to escape so I could breathe. I thought the heavens would open, and I would be struck by a sense of clarity, immediacy and righteousness in my decision. I thought it would culminate from a huge fight or at least a strong disagreement which happened daily. But it was nothing like any of those I’d scenarioized. Just a quiet knowing.

As I watched him rant while eating the lunch I’d prepared, it came to me. If I don’t do something, anything, to end this, I will be hearing the same script in 10…