The Moon and the Lizard King
Fear is present in everyone’s minds. Even in the minds of the most powerful creatures. This was also true for Moon, and this is her story.
The moon was afraid of shining
Moon had always experienced fear, ever since she had use of reason. Granted, her light, presence, and will, had always been noticed by the World. Yet when it came to it, many times she would shy away from taking the very last step that would allow her to truly be seen. She was afraid of many things: failure, judgment, abandonment, disappearing into oblivion…
And that fact granted her strange, cold and misguided allies.
She was afraid of things that most beings would be afraid of. Fears that prevented her from fully loving the beings that she loved most dearly, and from letting herself shine as bright as she could have done. Because to truly love, and to truly shine, she had become exposed, letting go of all shame, and nothing was scarier than that.
Moon enjoyed coming out during the darkest nights to dance around the forest. And her dancing was so beautiful that all creatures would come out and watch.
Her naked body shone in the darkness inspiring creatures to unveil their darkest secrets.
Moon loved the flattery, the attention, the devotion. However, she was also terrified: even her smallest misstep would be seen by everyone. Upon that scary thought possessing her soul, her ones harmonious and intoxicating movements became mechanic, erratic, clumsy even. Her breathing became irregular and her soft, luminescent and warm skin became hard and scaly. Her once lustrous black hair became frail, white, and flakey…
…And the cold…
Oh, the cold.
She became so cold she couldn’t move.
Her lips and nails would become blue and walking even the smallest distance became a nearly impossible task. She’d just remain there, stone frozen, foggy-minded, ridden with decay and never ending loops of horrifying, obsessive thoughts rushing through her terrified mind, struggling to breath, to be. Her senses escaped her, spiralling into the most horrifying primal scream, piercing her own skin with her claws, out of sheer desperation.
‘Please!!! Make it stop!!!!’ Vertigo. The stink of death. Darkness. A symphony of beeping sounds invading her unfortunate skull. The skin breaks. The bones show. The hair falls. The guts explode. The vision goes. Everything spins. Everybody is laughing. They are all laughing. They are all screaming. Why are they screaming at me????
And then it all becomes pitch black.
And she had never been, no longer was, is, will never, be.
And she becomes him. Her doppelgänger. She is trapped. She has always been trapped. She will forever be trapped. She had been she was she is she will she fades.
Into Oblivion.
The death of all identity.
Gone. Faded. Raw. Stripped naked for all to see.
She had been, was, is, will ever, be. Trapped. Within the decaying carcass of her old misguided friend, the Lizard King.
The Lizard King and the Kingdom of Ice
The Lizard King was an icy creature whose touch had the power to stop time and freeze even the bravest of creatures’ hearts. When he appeared, happiness, openness, and drive would melt away to let self-reflection, doubt, and melancholy take over. He didn’t mean to hurt, but, on the contrary, to protect. However, his good intentions were often overruled by his reactive and primal ways, freezing beings in time to prevent them from taking the step that he thought would take them to their demise.
Yes, The Lizard King’s brutal ways were famous in his Kingdom for stopping progress for the sake of safety, keeping beings in a box of dark comfort and slow decay. One of his biggest frustrations was to see his powers used in hurtful ways, for he wanted to prevent, not to cause.
But his efforts to keep the world pure and innocent often remained misunderstood. He was mercilessly blamed for all beings’ misfortune, for his whole Kingdom became frozen, lonely, joyless.
Empty.
The Lizard King deeply cared about Moon — He was fascinated by her. Of course he wanted her to be happy, but above all things, he wanted to keep her as she was, safe, never to be harmed, her beauty and grace never to be tampered with. And she, of course, loved him back, in some way (or was it co-dependency?)
You were frail, you are mine, you will be always safe. With me. Perfectly frozen.
The Moon’s and The Ice King’s dialogue
‘What do you want from me? Why won’t you let me go’ Asked Moon, with icy tears rolling down her face.
‘For you to be safe of all evil. So that you remain pure.’ Replied the Lizard King.
‘What’s the point of escaping evil, if I am also evading joy? Why would I live on if I can never know the touch of passion?’
‘You could live safe and pure forever after. You could remain unharmed and untouched. If only you remained by my side’ The Lizard King spoke lovingly, slowly, like a parent that knows all too well about the dangers of our world, and the ills of men.
A parent that is afraid of change, for no one knows what the future beholds.
‘Please, let me live. Let me experience, let me get it wrong, I will deal with the consequences. Let me love with my full being, even if my heart might break. Let me do all of the crazy things, let me dance for everyone to see, let me scream to the top of my lungs that I am going to eat the world, let me say the wrong thing, let me fall one thousand and one times, let me lose, let me win, let me feel the wind on my skin, let me figure out what wild and unhinged joy feels like, let me experience what grief is, let me fall so that I can learn how to rebuild myself. I want to live. I wat to dance, tonight, and forever, I want to feel what it is to do the highest bet and lose it all, because if there isn’t a risk, there’s nothing to lose, if I have to break, I will break. Please, let me be me. Even if me is wrong…
…All I ever wanted, and I still want, I will always want, is to be me.’
‘But you are flawed, unexperienced, volatile, and will most certainly break in a million pieces. And it will be very painful. Please, let me protect you from yourself’, The Lizard King’s voice was empty of all expression, shaky, as multiple fine cracks started covering his stone-like face. He understood what that meant: Once again, he was being left behind, misunderstood, unloved, alone again within his own terrified version of the world.
‘Then let me be flawed. Let me break as many times as necessary, as I find my way.’ Moon was devastated, yet confident, resolute. She knew that this would mean the end of this corrupted, yet honest and loving connection.
‘It is time to let go. It is time for me to become me’.
The Lizard King’s carcass started breaking and fading into ashes around her, and she rose up from underneath the ruins of her own fear. To fly. To dance. To shine. To illuminate, to seduce, the world.
I was, I am, I will always. Be me. Despite you. Despite me. I am infinite.
She cried and grieved the loss of her misunderstood, terrified, overprotective friend, not fully making peace with the fact that he now was but a minuscule fragment floating in the see of her vast consciousness.
And she set herself to become free. To dance and to inspire. To entertain secret thoughts. To shine, to be, unapologetically, Moon.
