The Party. The Job. The Relationship.
Knowing when to leave is so important
Knowing when to leave is so important — The job. The party. The relationship.
When I read this quote as a young naïve kid few years back it made me think, how would I know when to leave? Would there be any signs?
When would I know? At the start, in the mid or at the very end?
Damn, would I even know?
Today, as I read the quote again and reflect upon life, I can say I have experienced exit from all the three situations — The job. The party. The relationship.
Did I knew when and how to leave?
Well, I am not quite sure if I knew in those moments and situations. However, looking back if I try to connect the dots now — I did knew.
I exactly knew the ‘when’ and the ‘how’.
The PARTY
It wasn’t one of the best times of my life. I was struggling, personally and professionally. Times were hard and life harsh. In my condominium that only had a sofa and a mattress in the name of furniture, I was standing at the door staring out of the window with a wedding invite in my hand thinking whether to go to the party or give it a miss.
Let’s go, a change of mind and environment is needed, I thought to myself, and started going through my closet to select the dress I should wear to the party.
The party was lit. It did change my mood, for a bit. I met few friends, we chatted, laughed and danced together.
Tired, I sat down at a corner table as I scanned the room. Few people were scrolling through their phones, there was a shots competition going on at the bar section, those getting bored were taking their own selfies to kill time, a group was rolling the filter paper to enjoy a joint together and deep inside I was thinking if I should stay for dinner or just leave.
I gulped the virgin mojito, I ordered before walking towards the party hosts and I gave them my best wishes.
Genuine human connection is what I missed at the party, everything seemed so superficial — the smiles, the hugs, the talks. I questioned myself on what am I doing here? When I felt lonely in a room full of people, I knew it was time for me to leave.
I left the party before the dinner.
The JOB
Ah, this is a tuff one. We are not supposed to bad mouth about a previous employer, right? Well, it’s not quite about the organization or an employer but an Individual who happened to be my Manager and also a racist personality. I was not the only one who suffered under him, the whole team did. Within a span of an year, almost all members in the team left the organization. The Manager was eventually let go off.
When did I resign?
When my mental health took a toll.
I started feeling anxious before my 1:1’s with my Manager. It felt like sessions full of repeated attacks on my self-esteem and self-confidence. Finding motivation to go to work became an arduous task and I often used to think if it’s worth continuing. I don’t have a long list of good decisions I have made so far, this one however, tops the list.
The RELATIONSHIP
Ah, this one isn’t easy either. Revisiting the breakup memories always feels like reading a book backwards, visiting those chapters of life; pages of which you want to tear off from the book and forget. But do we forget?
I still vividly remember the November night and the last dinner I had at Boston Pizza with a man I once dated.
‘I am sure you will find someone you deserve; for us, it ends here.’
I still don’t know how I said those words. It was tuff. But it felt so right, like a weight of a hundred kilos got lifted from my chest. I felt so light and relieved after that. After tolerating years of isolation, passive aggression, gaslighting and trauma bonding, I was finally able to gather the courage to put an end to the cycle of abuse. I choose myself. I acted late but it taught me a life lesson on what not to tolerate.
Some times leaving is not an option. Your one decision impacts a lot of things and people. But if you can then knowing when to leave is very important.
How has been your experience with this life lesson? Did you knew when to leave and did you find the exit door?
