The Truth About How Your Sisterhood May Be Screwing With Your Happiness
Tell tail signs that your inner circle is pulling you down in the game of life
I’ve been insecure about being alone for a huge part of my adult life. Grown ass adulting never sat well with my need for company. So I tried my best to surround myself with people. I needed the sisterhood. I was open about it. What followed was what always follows when we show vulnerability too early. A few of these ‘friends’ I considered part of my inner circle. Some of them lead to my fall from grace in the world.
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” says Jim Rohn, motivational guru.
So these could be tell-tail signs that your inner circle is unreliable:
1. Are they fair weather friends?
They stick around during good times. They drain your energy (and sometimes your resources) under the pretext of parties & fun. When your life takes a turn they slither off without a trace. Meaning they aren’t gonna be there when the going gets rough.
What are the tell tail signs that warn you of fair weather friends before its too late?
- Often you reach out to meet but they are glad to tag along
- They show no signs of wanting to know your family
- They don’t introduce you to theirs
- You’ve know them for a long while but they are still acquaintances
- You don’t turn to them when your chips are down
2. Are their conversations mostly gossip?
If the focus of their conversations is people & their conversations have a salacious tone you’ve landed yourself problem friends. Your grey cells will die a slow death in the face of their relentless gossip. Their toxicity will spell an end to your creativity. If you join their gossip sessions, you will burn all bridges that can take you places.
3. Are they bitchy with each other?
Not only do they gossip about others, they gossip about each other. This means they probably talk about you when you aren’t around. They are definitely not a gang of loyalists. Meaning they have nothing good to say about you to people that matter.
4. Do they respect your boundaries?
Boundaries mean different things to different people. But if your inner circle consistently disrespects your boundaries you got a problem. They will invade your productive hours, your creativity & your sacred spaces for their personal gain.
Tell tail signs that your friends violate your boundaries:
- You meet them mostly at their convenience & at the cost of yours
- You foot the bill for a majority of the shenanigans
- They make causal & distasteful personal remarks about you or your family
- They show no real happiness for your happy occasion
5. What are their hobbies & interests?
Our interests determine who we become. They can also predict how successful we will be. Your friends have no real interests apart from living the good life? Their company will ring in a slow death to your creativity, productivity & ambitions.
6. What are their habits?
We adopt the habits of our social circle. If your inner circle has habits that support a wanton lifestyle, you are in danger of becoming cavalier yourself.
7. Are they socially a good fit?
If most of your circle is out of your social league you got a problem pal. No foul in you wanting to hang with Elon Musk. But if you’re doing that to fit in, you probably aren’t comfortable with who you are. Worse? You may be so insecure as to feel comfortable only with those who can make you look good. You won’t make those connections that matter. Either way you need to be comfortable in your skin so the right kind can gravitate to you.
Choose your inner circle with care. Their imprint stays with you for the long haul.
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