The Visibility Conundrum
Blending In, Standing Out, and Speaking Up
In the heart of the tropics, where Christmas embraces the unique charm of monsoon rains and a slower pace, I find myself contemplating the significance of visibility in a world that often operates in shades of opacity. The cozy scenes of a tropical holiday, however, share space with the modern reality of endless scrolling, a constant distraction from the quieter pleasures that could fill our days.
While I’m not an avid reader, the holiday season opens up time for reflection, prompting me to explore the world through the lens of audiobooks. As a habitual consumer of self-help and biographies, my recent foray into fiction, R.F. Kuang’s “Babel,” transports me to an unfamiliar yet strangely resonant world of Oxford. An oriental immigrant scholar in Europe, facing internal conflicts about gratitude and risk-taking, echoes sentiments that feel oddly close to home.
As I navigate through life as an expatriate, having spent more years abroad than in my country of citizenship, the question of identity becomes a complex dance. The challenge of being perceived as Indonesian, despite not fitting the stereotypical image, adds layers to social interactions. The opacity in people’s eyes as they adjust their judgment based on my narrative sparks contemplation about how much of my story I should reveal to be deemed interesting, without risking the label of showing off or seeking sympathy.
In this delicate balance, I often find myself presenting a diluted version of who I am. Whether it’s downplaying facts or stifling excitement, this behavior feels ingrained, a product of the societal norms I grew up with. Standing out, speaking up, or revealing too much was discouraged, especially as a member of a minority race. The unspoken understanding was to blend in, to keep details to ourselves, and to maintain humility.
Yet, life in Europe has offered a contrasting perspective. Here, expressing thoughts and emotions directly is not just accepted but encouraged. Communication is a transparent exchange where expressing joy, excitement, or disagreement is not just tolerated but valued. This shift has brought into focus the importance of being visible in a society that values open dialogue and self-expression.
In this newfound visibility, I’ve learned that words carry weight. The emphasis on effective communication has made me feel more listened to, more seen. It’s a refreshing departure from the muted communication style I grew up with, emphasizing the power of words in fostering understanding.
As we ponder the theme of visibility, it becomes evident that it’s not just about being physically present but also about the narrative we choose to share. It’s about finding a balance between cultural values and the expectations of a global society. In embracing visibility, we navigate the complexities of self-expression, transcending the limitations of societal norms to craft a narrative that is both authentic and enriching.
So, as the monsoon rain continues to paint glistening pavements outside my window, I contemplate the significance of visibility in a increasingly interconnected world. It’s a journey of self-discovery, a narrative that evolves with each interaction, and a realization that being seen, truly seen, goes beyond physical presence — it’s about the stories we choose to tell.
Happy holidays!
