This Book Changed My Life
Self-help books preach, prey and pigeon-hole
I quite enjoy a good how-to-win-in-business book. The insecure MBA in me smugly indulges in shiny tomes filled with business twaddle and pithy aphorisms (If you’ve read Positive Intelligence, which explains how your inner “saboteurs” battle with your “sage” to determine your “positive intelligence,” you know what I am talking about). These books regale me with stories of triumph and endless grit as they motivate me to get my act together. If the book has been written by a professional writer or a professor, great! If an entrepreneur or investor is providing personal insight, even better!
On the parenting front, the “how-to” genre is no different but slightly more insidious. These books thrive on the fear of raising a potential delinquent who cannot function out in the cold, cruel world. Actually, it’s more the sheer trepidation of having an under-scheduled child whom I cannot boast about amongst other obnoxious parents. If the advice is coming from someone with “Dr” before their moniker, it must be pure gold. The best are those self-proclaimed “experts” or even “consultants” who tap the wallets of hapless parents on everything from tantrums to toileting.
Don’t get me wrong, many of these bestselling “how-to” books are as beautifully written as they are pragmatic. However, far too often, a selection bias toward a small and narrow sample set drives conclusions on how to successfully start a business or just get your kid not to crap in their pants at school. “This is what worked for me and may possibly work for you if the conditions allow,” suddenly turns into a 300-page repetitive beat-down of some trite ten-word message.
The messages of the “how-to” genre can be contradictory to an often hilarious degree. Know when to quit; don’t quit. Work endlessly hard without limits; work smart without burnout. Nurture always wins over nature; nature dictates who we are meant to be. Serendipity plays a large part in success; you make your own damn luck. Habits and discipline are critical to a child’s future success; children need freedom and autonomy from an early age to “live their best lives.”
Will any of these books change your life? Who knows. Some might make you think differently. Others may inspire personal change. Still, others may give you the confidence to be a better coworker or a more patient parent. At the very least, you might chuckle at some of their inoperable frameworks and needlessly scientific-sounding jargon.
A delivery man once said to me, “You know what to do. You got this,” when he found me looking dazed as I held a screaming newborn at my front door. I ran to my laptop and immediately ordered a bunch of parenting books anyway.
