To Women Who Throw Other Women Under A Bus For A Man
Please stop
If you’ve read a few of my other essays, you’d know I have a thing for rants, and sharing my opinion as I see fit. So here’s another one for the gals (although some men always seem to find my writing…sigh!)
You know who you are, yes you. Please don’t pretend you don't know who I’m talking about. You’re the gal who would ditch her bestie in a heartbeat in a bar, party or club. Because her gaze has been hooked by a man she met like two seconds ago. Please stop, it’s women like you that make some men think women are flaky as heck.
Hey, you too, Mrs I’m-pulling-my-man-closer-when I see another woman around him. The women are keen as a fox, alert as an FBI investigator, whenever their partners are around other women. Why do women like you think the whole world wants your man? Erhm no, thank you. You can keep him. Lower your heart rate girlfriend, and please don’t ruin our lifelong friendship because of your insecurity. I’d rather steal a nap anytime, than steal your man. You do remember they’re like several billions of male humans around.
To the friend, who suddenly curtails her wild laughter when she’s in female company, at the first sight of a man she fancies. Yes, I’m talking to you. I mean seriously. One minute you're laughing like a hyena having a blast with your girlfriends, the next minute you’re doing the switch-aroo. Taming your voice, and giving the most ridiculous semi-pouts, and side gazes to him. It’s comedians like you, that have contributed to the patriarchy hoodwinking so many women to give up their power to be “feminine” or desirable. Enough my dear, please just stop.
Lastly, to the married/engaged/partnered woman who looks down on her unmarried/unengaged/ divorced friends, thinking she has a one-up on them. Nope, you don’t. Stop borrowing value from your relationship status. There is value in everyone regardless of who they're hooked on to. Lower your nose, walk back into Humility Avenue, and take a chill pill.
I guess where I’m going with this, is that women have to support each other through thick and thin. Wake up girls, the patriarchy ain't doing us no favours. We're in this together, let’s stop tearing down other women, who are just trying to survive and live a good life. Let’s not put all our hopes into the hands of men or marriage. Let’s realise that life has a lot to offer in all manner of communities and friendship ties outside romantic relationships.
It’s my friends that have often been the most nourishing to me in life. They’ve respected my boundaries and honoured my need for space, and dignity more than any relationship I’ve ever been in, and I value good friends intensely.
So to those women, who would throw another woman under the bus for a man, please just stop this lunatic behaviour
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