Weddings ain’t all that!
Did you know that the average cost a wedding in the UK ranges between £9000 and £32,000? Staggering, right? Considering the rate of inflation it’s likely to get even more expensive!
Plus, divorce percentages for the UK alone stand at 33% and that percentage is higher based on the number of years married. The average length of time someone remains married is 12 years…FYI!
I’m not here to tell anyone what to do with their money, but rather an opinion on how ridiculous society has become about weddings.
This article I’m writing all stems from a conversation I had a few months back with a couple of friends. We got onto the subject of problematic bridesmaids. Long story short, both friends had issues with a bridesmaid or have been somewhat accused of being a problem-bridesmaid; ultimately causing irreparable damage to their friendships.
To surmise some of the inexcusable behaviours which included hundreds of pounds lost from a failed hen do. Unrealistic expectations of the bridal party to avoid falling pregnant to ensure there was ‘absolutely no distraction’ from the bride on her special day. Lies and excuses told to avoid participating in activities. There were plenty more anecdotes that painted an intransigent picture of the bride and or bridesmaids. It suddenly struck me that this type of behaviour is often excused, that it’s actually quite normal for the bridal party to act petulant and selfish.
And in case you didn’t know:
Getting married does not give anyone the right to treat people with contempt if they don’t bend to their will.
It got me thinking of the number of times I have heard someone complain about the bridal party and the issues that coincide with having a big wedding. My thoughts spiraled and before I knew it, I was ranting to my husband about weddings in general, how the meaning and sentiment appear lost.
Weddings today are an amalgamation of tradition, societal expectations, and consumerism which equates to obnoxious behaviour. It can lead to having a wedding with lots of people or things in it that the bride/s and/or groom/s don’t want. All too often the main focus of the wedding is the aesthetics. In reality, it should be about the couple sharing their day how they want; sharing their love and commitment to whomever they wish.
Why are people spending their lives savings, and let’s face it, unjustifiable amounts of money on ostentatious weddings? Is it for social media? Is it for their families? Is it to go up a rung on the social ladder? I knew someone who spent £20,000 on a wedding (and yes, I do realize that the wealth in this world would spend that purely on flower arrangements) but this was a working-class individual who dropped 20k for one day and one night. It’s what she wanted and she had a lovely time, but was it really worth it?
Weddings are incredibly expensive these days and they really needn’t be. Mention the word wedding or baby and a premium is added, instantly.
Those that are getting married should simply have the choice for their day. If someone has that strong enough opinion, makes judgments, creates a feeling of guilt within you, you can simply dis-invite them, at least until they can behave like a respectable adult. If that causes a rift, are they really worth the invite anyway?
Before you set your heart/s on the day of your dreams -Is getting married what you truly want? Seriously, ask yourself why exactly you want to get married. Is it for convenience, religious beliefs, to make your relatives happy, for money, for love, security, or because society expects you to? There are different reasons for each individual and couple. Delving deep to ensure you make the right choice will save you heartbreak, time, and yep, you guessed it, money. Money that you could put towards a house, a holiday, education, investments, your children and/or loved ones, charity, a safety net; literally anything!
Food for thought
If someone is paying or contributing to the wedding, establish ground rules before accepting their gesture, and find out if they have any expectations or conditions first. If their offering of money comes with conditions that don’t align with how you want your wedding you need to seriously reconsider accepting it.
Do you really need an entourage of bridesmaids and groomsmen? Do you really need a huge hen and stag do?
Do you need a swanky car to drive you for 15 minutes up the road?
Do you need to have the most expensive dress that you will wear for one day, cost you £100 to clean to be placed in a box/bag and then into storage? You can wear whatever dress or suit you choose. What you feel a million bucks in doesn’t have to cost you that!
Do you need a hair and makeup artist? Probably not! There are so many YouTube makeup artists with wedding makeup tutorials online that you can teach yourself to do it yourself!
Don’t conform to society or get married if it’s not truly the right choice.
It is YOUR day. Do what YOU want!
Thanks for reading
