What if no morning routine is the best morning routine?
Easing the pressure of starting the day off “right”…
A few years go I didn’t even have words for what I did in the morning. Waking up used to be just waking up to me. Especially in college, when I played basketball, I had to get up every morning at 5 AM because practice started at 5:45 AM, yes, every morning. I had no energy and no desire to make time for anything in the morning other than sleeping as long as possible, lacing up my basketball sneakers, and taking some deep breaths right before my coach started the practice.
Then graduate school hit, and I became determined to have a morning routine, all thanks to social media, the information I was consuming, and the discomfort I felt within my body and mind.
“Influencers” shared their tips and tricks to start the day, and still do. They shared what they drank first thing in the morning, how they meditated, journaled, and how they had a gratitude practice. Getting up early also seemed to be trendy and still does today…
I started to believe that there was in fact some better way to start the day that I wasn’t aware of until now.
Over time I began to put pressure on myself to constantly wake up at the same time every day and check the boxes off my morning routine to-do list. I got up and pushed through even when I wanted to sleep a little longer or when my body needed rest and not another workout. It no longer was determination but rather an obsession, driven by anxiety and the need to “fix” myself.
It sounds like a lot of pressure because it was a lot of pressure.
Sooner than later, no longer was the routine in place to serve and help me, but instead, I was serving and obeying the routine.
I say all of this because I don’t think I am alone in feeling that pressure to improve myself or to start the day off “right.” I believe many of us have become obsessed with finding the “perfect” routine and executing it every morning. I think many of us have gone down the path of doing all the things and buying all the things that promise to give us more peace, flatter tummies, give us more energy and time to be productive. I think many of us have looked outside ourselves for answers and have believed that to be happy and prosperous, we need to change ourselves somehow.
But over time, through treatment for my eating disorder, and now over a year of being home and challenging that inner critic telling me, I have to be and do these things to be enough… I have come to ask these questions…What if the truth is there is no such thing as a perfect routine? And what if creating the perfect morning routine stems from diet culture, perfectionism, and capitalism? What if the key to a “perfect” morning routine isn’t making sure we drink the celery juice and meditate the same amount each day but listening to ourselves and what we need that morning?
I recently watched a video on youtube about this very topic by a woman who I find to be just a breath of fresh air and a warm hug all at the same time…She asked, “What are you doing this morning to harness joy?”
What a beautiful question.
It feels intentional and caring. It doesn’t have an undertone of expectation or a right or wrong answer. Instead, it’s a question that provides space to get curious and honest with yourself. It is a genuine question of what will fill you up this morning, rather than what will help you be better today, get shit done today, or “fix” you in some way.
I think that when we can leave room to ask this question…possibly begin to step outside the expectation of what is better or worse…step away from the comparison of what that person does versus us…then maybe that “perfect” routine will be found because it will be nuanced, not rigid and it will be one based in love, care, joy…it will be gentle (like a warm hug), certainly not demanding.
