Who is a Good Feminist?
“It is almost as if we were asking, what is good feminism?”
Gender equality continues to be a crucial issue for progress, evident with the increased global conversations around injustices against women.
A recent case of this gross injustice is the death of Masha Amini. It led to massive ongoing protests in Iran and other parts of the world. These protests have led to government-sanctioned killings of protesters in Iran to quell the uprising.
There are so many cases of injustice against women across countries that according to a published UN women’s report in September 2022. It would take us longer than it took in 2017 to achieve gender equality now. This setback is a consequence of the global pandemic, climate change, conflicts, and aggressive pushback against women’s rights. An example of this pushback against women’s rights is the Taliban rule in Afghanistan.
In the face of all this, it might seem trivial to ask who a good feminist is. Because it is clear that there is gender inequality, and if feminism is a means to achieving equal rights for the sexes, isn’t all that should matter the fact that feminists are working to achieve this?
However, the answer to this question is quite complex. The means to achieving equal rights are important enough to constantly assess as work is being done.
It is critical because as we fight oppression, we need to make sure that we do not oppress.
One of the reasons that negative receptions of feminism persist is because there exists a prominent belief that there is good feminism and bad feminism.
I have often had various persons I converse with say to me,
“Oh, some feminists are different. There are good feminists with stances that make sense.”
Then when I ask who the bad feminists are? They say,
“Many women who call themselves feminists are just entitled! They want to enjoy the traditional privileges of femininity and not have the responsibilities that come with equality. And some of them plainly say they hate men!”
This particular sentiment about what feminism is and is not was expressed by Nigerian author Chimamanda Adichie, who said this in an interview,
“I often say to young Nigerian feminists, please do not use feminism to justify your wickedness… so you have some of these young women and I’m talking to them and they sound mean and I say, you know what, this isn’t feminism, you’re just nasty.”
When this cut of the interview went viral and became a topic for debate on social media, it quickly devolved into a battle of feminists versus patriarchists that ended in idiosyncratic banter.
I know many feminists and have been in multiple spaces, contributing to conversations about how we identify with feminism. These conversations have allowed me to gain a robust understanding of the movement.
An example is an intergenerational feminist meeting I once attended in 2020. I was seated at a table with feminists of various ages and levels of experience within the movement. The conversations we were having centered around our individual experiences with feminism.
In response to a question about sharing bills and power dynamics in marriages, a young woman in her thirties expressed her struggle with feminist ideals and the reality she lived,
“Younger generations of feminists do not understand the realities of marriage and judge everyone based on idealistic principles. My husband will not allow me to pay for family expenses, he says it insults his ego. For me, feminism is that I can have a career, have financial security, and afford to be my person with less compromise. It is not perfect. Yes, I experience a power imbalance in my relationship. But it is far better than the worst.” she said.
Another older feminist shook her head and called it “fickle feminism, if even worthy of being called feminism.” She emphasized that there is no feminism until we are entirely against all forms of oppression between the sexes.
A feminist in her twenties joined in the conversation and said men should bear most of the financial burdens.
“ They still have better access to opportunities,” she said. “Society is firmly held up by patriarchal structures so deeply embedded that we still struggle to find where they exist to take them down. So, as it stands, in an unequal society, you cannot expect women to contribute equally when they do not have access to equal opportunities and call that fairness.”
This conversation continued, with feminists agreeing and disagreeing with the perspectives of other feminists. The only agreement reached on that table was that we believed in equal rights for all, and we were all doing what we could to achieve that.
Feminism is a movement for the social, political, and economic equality of the sexes.
This definition means that there could as well be many ways a person could think of taking to achieve this. Hence why there are various types of feminism in theory.
There are prominent groups of radical, liberal, Marxist/socialist, cultural, and eco-feminists, and other niched groups such as pro-celibacy and anti-pornography feminists.
Each group fundamentally believes that the sexes should have the same rights, but they divide when they decide on what oppression looks like and the best approach to achieve equality.
To give a diagrammatic depiction, you can think of it as the Venn diagram of feminism. Where various persons who believe that the sexes should enjoy equal rights exist. They begin to exclude themselves not only in approach but in belief; when oppression is identified where others do not agree.
Examples include the cases of vegetarian eco-feminists and other feminists who agree with animal agriculture. Anti-pornography and pro-pornography feminist groups on sexuality. Then there is the disagreement between trans-exclusionary radical feminists and trans-inclusive feminists.
These disagreements happen when perceived oppression is examined and interpreted by various feminists.
This is why there can never be a singular voice for any movement, as is evident in the various sub-theories within multiple concepts. They are all open to the unique ways people interpret their realities.
So, who then is a good feminist? What is the standard?
It is almost as if we were asking, what is good feminism?
As much as we usually adopt the definition that hammers on the equality of the sexes, some definitions expand to include all other forms of oppression outside sex, such as race, class, and physical and mental ability.
Even the definition of feminism isn’t singular.
As a self-identified feminist, I constantly have conversations with myself about feminism and all that it represents. I acknowledge all that it has done and continues to do for society. However, I am often conflicted when I listen to other feminists speak, and I find myself heavily opposed to their opinions on certain issues.
It begins to feel as though the umbrella term of feminism, misrepresents me.
But I have realized that these varying perspectives do not have to connote negative outcomes. They show us that we all have such varied realities and we are consciously trying to answer the question of oppression as it translates into these realities.
Success is about trying various ways to find solutions to problems and sometimes failing in the process, restrategizing, and forging ahead.
There is room to get it wrong in feminism because no one knows the perfect way to achieve equality.
So instead of closing up the door for conversation because of these differences in opinions, no matter how different. We should instead constantly strive to create space to find common ground.
As idealistic as this sounds, is feminism itself not ideological? Isn’t any form of tremendous growth?
The goal will always be to try as much as we can to address injustices and oppression in the world and constantly evaluate our approach, even if we make mistakes along the way.
*I currently write about women, social issues, personal reflections, and self-development. If you like my content, follow me, and let’s connect!
