Why Are We the Way We Are?
The everlasting nature vs. nurture debate:
If you asked 100 people why they believe humans are the way they are, or behave the way they do, you would get 100 different answers. That suggests one thing: the mystery is far from solved. Even though the two obvious answers are nature and nurture, it is tough to find people who agree on the percentage influence of each.
On the one hand, there is no doubt that nature plays a key role in people: genetics determines individuals’ attributes, but it is not entirely clear to what extent it determines their minds. Yes, popular sayings such as “like father, like son”, which have been around in our society for hundreds of years, could be an indicator that, indeed, many children tend to take after their parents.
However, this is not always the case. We can resemble our parents all we want, but nurture is a fundamental basis of both our personality and who we become as we grow up. Because it isn’t only about the education we receive.
Nurture is that fight you had with your classmate in sixth grade, your first kiss and your first breakup. It’s all those endless laughs with your friends, your sadness when a loved one passed away, the reason behind the differences in personality with your siblings despite having the same parents. Nurture encompasses all your life experiences, from the most remarkable to the most irrelevant, that shaped who you are today. And they have nothing to do with nature.
Multiple studies have been carried out with the aim of finding out which factor is really decisive, but most results are opposing. And if not even the experts agree, we can only speculate, even if our conclusions are purely based on personal experience. For my part, I would say it was 50–50 for me. I have always been my own self, but since my teenage years, the older I get, the more I resemble my mother.
Perhaps the answer to the big question will soon be discovered, or perhaps we will never know. What I can tell you is that, despite these two big factors, our life is written solely by us. The choices we make every day are up to us, and no one else. So, despite how easy and tempting it might be, let’s stop using “this is who I am, I can’t change” or “I was taught this way” as excuses to not improve daily, and let’s become our own person.
