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Why Caring Too Much is Costing Women Their Peace
Breaking Free from the Expectation to Mother Our Partners
For as long as I can remember, I believed that caring for others was the foundation of love. It was ingrained in me that when everyone else is happy, I’d naturally feel fulfilled too. So, I carried that belief into my relationships, anticipating my partner’s needs before he even voiced them — packing his lunch for work, making sure he had a flask of food if he was fasting, and paying close attention to the smallest details of his comfort.
Then, one day, he stopped me in my tracks.
He told me that when I packed his lunch, it made him feel like a child. And when I’d ask about what he’d break his fast with, he seemed almost disturbed by my concern. At first, I felt hurt. Why wouldn’t he let me care for him? Wasn’t that what love was supposed to look like?
But then, a bigger question surfaced: Was I really caring for him, or was I just following a script I had been taught?
The Emotional Labor Women Are Expected to Carry
Many modern women, myself included, have inherited a traditional, almost sacrificial model of love — one where care is primarily expressed through acts of service. We saw it growing up in our…
