Why I Hate My Bra
It’s 90 degrees out here right now and I wish I could wear less, not more!
Look, maybe a bra serves a real purpose for some people. Maybe someone with bigger breasts or who works out often would appreciate the support on their tatas. But for me, I have no real desire to wear those. I am relatively young and my boobs are relatively small. I don’t need a bra. I prefer the feeling of a shirt on my breasts over a tight little cage. My boobs hold themselves up just fine, even if a little apart and with some sag.
So most of the time, I do without a bra. But sometimes I wear them, against my will, and I hate them.
I wear them because although I do not care about my boobs, men do. Men cannot see a goddamn breast without being weird about it. Even the outline of one, or just of the nipple, is enough to trigger their disgusting thoughts, words, and if you’re unlucky, actions.
So I have to wear an extra cage under my blouse because men are pervs.
Not because I want to.
And that’s what pisses me off!
It’s 90 degrees out here right now and I wish I could wear less, not more! Yet I am forced to add an extra layer of protection against the creepiness of mankind, and cage my breasts in a small jail of boob sweat.
I have to be uncomfortable in a hot and usually expensive additional piece of clothing or else feed the creepiness of men’s indiscreet stares.
I am about to get on the bus. A man might mistake a visible nipple outline for an invitation. I cannot risk it. I don the added modesty layer because of that man.
Never mind that I can see a man’s chest flopping around through his t-shirt. It’s a summer day. Disgusting. How dare he be comfortable?
We should make men uncomfortable about their bodies too, right? We should text and whisper and catcall and point at every male figure we see. We should make sure they don’t feel comfortable walking around alone, especially not at night. We should make sure they reconsider how we might react to any of their outfits before getting dressed in the morning. Right?
Free the nipple? Not in this landscape. Not while men will continue to act in grotesque ways when it comes to the human body. They want the nipples free to objectify at their whim — is that really freedom, then?
But we still need to do something so… let’s cage their nipples too! Objectify their bouncing boobies until they can’t bear to walk outside anymore. His eyes are up there? Doesn’t matter! Make them reconsider their every outfit, every move, and how it might affect how others around them perceive their breasticles.
Sometimes gender equality is revenge. And sometimes revenge is an unlined wireless brassiere for men. Maybe they’ll call it bro-ssiere.
