Why Middle-Aged Women Should Seize Moments of Boredom?

You need to read this if your life feels unfulfilled

Ipshita Guha
Modern Women
6 min readJan 27, 2024

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Photo by Tobias Bjørkli

Women are never bored because they have too much to do. They are tired. But never bored. They do not sit down because they have nothing to do but catch a breather, recharge, and jump back in. I am saying this from experience, not hearsay.

Lack of moments of boredom is why fewer women have their startups, small businesses, innovative products, path-breaking ideas, and world-changing products or services.

You don’t see their names flashed across billboards or in major global events or as keynote speakers as compared to men.

You are probably wondering where this all leads to.

A little-known secret about boredom

Many of us feel anxious if left alone. This was not the case a few decades ago. Today, one of the issues with social media and smartphones is our need for constant distraction.

Observe yourself. How often do you flick open your phone while waiting for the bus at the bus stand? Why can’t you simply look around and see all the comings and goings? Or just let your mind float around in different directions without any purpose?

When there are 355 things to be done in a day, the idea of seeking boredom might sound counterintuitive. It is not. If you are a middle-aged woman going through a period of significant physical and mental transition, you must intentionally plan moments of boredom.

“Boredom always precedes period of great creativity.”

~ Robert M. Pirsig

If you are going through some challenges, harboring the dreams of pursuing certain personal goals, or seeking a major transformation in your life but feel trapped under circumstances; boredom is what you need.

When your mind is idle, free from any conscious activities you will have bursts of creativity to figure things out and find a desired way forward.

Try it with something small. Let me know if I am wrong.

Your life seems unfulfilled because you don’t know what you want or what is missing. You are not giving yourself private moments of peaceful introspection. Laying things out on a metaphoric table in your mind to sort through them is what you need.

Middle-aged women need this more than anything.

Boredom is the catalyst

You might be turning your nose at my assertion. Who is gonna do my job if I am “wasting” my time getting bored?

Our inability to shift from the status quo can be blamed on our choice of predictable boring solutions. You need something ingenious, innovative, and incongruent.

Have you read the book on Lateral Thinking by Edward de Bono? The book asks you to “challenge” your existing thinking process and patterns.

How will you do that if you are busy rushing through life day after day? Unless you are sitting idle, allowing your mind to wander you won’t have an iota of lateral thinking or any kind of thinking.

Trying to figure out some things in life, I reached out to someone for help. This person sat through listening to my typical day and week. Finally, he said, “You have the answers in you but you are too busy to listen to them.” Even when you are doing the dishes, you are planning for the next day or running through the to-do list. You have to be still to be able to think.

Everyone has daily responsibilities. If you want to make some changes in your life, you WILL have to carve some time out to just calm your monkey mind.

For the next 15 minutes, just tell yourself I am going to remain idle. See the magic unfold. All those ideas, insights, and passions that are buried deep inside your brain will slowly begin swirling on the surface. Solutions will be within your grasp.

Boredom allows us to think.

For us middle-aged women wearing multiple hats and bearing diverse obligations, there is hardly any time left to take stock of life.

To reflect on where are we from what we had set out to be.

Course correction can happen if you have clarity about the path ahead. By slowing down and remaining still, you can figure out what truly matters to you and set meaningful goals for the future.

Where from here

Two things happen if you have quiet moments of boredom.

a. You can reprioritize your life

My motives and goals in life were different when I was in my 20s and now when I am in my 40s.

Boredom helped me create the mind space to reassess my goals, purpose, aspirations, and relationships, and determine what I wanted to go after and why.

b. You can transform your dreams into reality

There were things I wanted to do in life. I wanted to write as a career. There was a need to maintain a certain pace and outlook of life that was beyond my reach due to the demands of daily life.

By remaining still, I found moments of solitude where I could think things through afresh. My resolve was renewed. I could rethink what I was going to do and why.

Today, I am writing actively and more often than in those days when it was just a dream. An item on my wishlist.

Boredom enabled me to identify where I wanted to be from where I was.

Boredom has a holistic impact

By our 40s, our kids are hitting teenage and spouses are in their upper middle to senior management levels at work. There is added responsibility and higher demand on time for school and career. Lesser time for personal relationships barring a few planned holidays that are gone in the blink of an eye.

Women go through significant biological changes at this time and it affects our physical health and mental well-being. Left unchecked, it has the potential to impact our longevity.

Often many of us feel redundant, sidelined, or less appreciated. This happens because as women we forego individual fulfillment for family life.

If you choose to reprioritize and pursue personal dreams, you can contribute to a more positive and enjoyable family environment. Family relations become resilient.

Research suggests a strong connection between emotional well-being and physical health. When I began pursuing my love for writing, taking courses, spending time poring over online writing advice, reading suggested books on Kindle, or just sitting and writing I felt much lower stress. My family could feel my sense of well-being. I had fewer complaints or arguments and was much more accommodating with everyone.

I can feel that I am happier and healthier. Sleep well at night, eat a balanced diet, and exercise regularly not out of compulsion but intrinsic intention.

The wisdom of seeking boredom

Boredom can be transformative. You need to refine your mindset about boredom moving from the negatives to the positives.

There is no prescription for boredom. You just choose to shut off from everything whenever you can to enjoy your private moments with boredom. It could be every day or as and when possible. Unlike exercise or diet, you don’t have to practice boredom for 26.7 minutes every day.

Sometimes when I am at the bank and waiting in a queue or sitting at the back of our car coming back from the factory when I have nothing else to do, I choose to remain silent and think. If I am at a cafe waiting for a friend who is running late, instead of checking my phone, I just stare at the menu and let my mind wander. I have experienced terrific insights, new thoughts, writing ideas, and changes in workflow or methods, in those moments.

If you are away from home or your workplace (or any known environment), it is easier to open up to boredom. At home or work, “There is always gonna be another mountain, I’m always gonna wanna make it move” as Miley Cyrus sings in The Climb.

Think what ?— you may ask. Anything. Whatever comes floating in. Slowly but surely the mind moves in the direction of my inner desires, and wishlist.

Quick piece of advice. I have tried to capture ideas in this state by opening my phone’s note app and plop — the next moment lost connection with my thoughts. Now I reach for my notebook and pen.

So, the next time you want to do something transformative or disgruntled with life, consider boredom as a source of wisdom. Take the opportunity to sit idly, reflect, and dream.

Down time is where we become ourselves … a hiatus that passes for boredom but it is really the quiet moving of the wheels inside that fuel creativity. ~ Anna Quindlen

Ipshita Guha is an ambivert. She aspires to be a ghostwriter for solopreneurs, SMB owners, C-suite, and corporate executives. She hopes to vicariously live the second half of her life through those exciting lives. She also writes about Refining Mindset and other stuff on Medium, LinkedIn, Twitter, and her website.

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Modern Women
Modern Women

Published in Modern Women

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Ipshita Guha
Ipshita Guha

Written by Ipshita Guha

In quest of living my unlived life | Linkedin:/ipshitabasuguha | Twitter:@ipshitaguha | Insta: @theipshitaguha