Why Not Knowing How to Cook is Considered Women’s Empowerment In South Asia
The cause of this peculiar notion goes way back in the history of Pakistan.
For a long time, women were not allowed to work outside of their homes. They were encouraged to stay in the fortress of their houses. This was evident in the regime of Zia-ul-Haq during the 1970s and 1980s. His campaign slogan was “Chador and chaar Diwari” (veiled and within the four walls of her home)
This caused women to become the sole cooks and cleaners of the household. While the men were required to work outdoors and be the breadwinners of their families.
Maybe it was the influence of Western culture and access to social media or the change of political leaders that started giving more opportunities to women to work outside. They faced workplace harassment and such women were considered outgoing and not “wife material ”. But this was a remarkable and radical change in their history. Stay-at-home wives started becoming frowned upon and people looked for more qualified women to get married to. However, things became even worse for women. Male dominance in society coupled with the upbringing of men where they were taught not to know cooking or any other basic chores as it was the work of the woman made matters even worse. Women now had to contribute financially to the family along with the housework. This became the ultimate standard for women. And that is how the problem originated.
Of course, there were some exceptions to this as some men wanted to marry uneducated and naive women that were solely dependent on the man for their survival and thus did not have any problem becoming housewives. While other men had started learning how to accomplish their tasks and contribute to the housework.
Coming back to the topic of the majority of people. Some working women finally started speaking up about the unfair share of work. Along with earning money, they were also required to conceive children, ensure their flawless upbringing, and do all the household chores including cooking. This was burdensome and oppressive. Women held marches and protests that were labeled “khana Khud garam kero”
(Heat your own food)
Implying that men should cook for themselves when they come home from a day’s work because the wife does not have the energy to cook for them after working 9 – 5 jobs themselves.
The situation is more or less still the same as the patriarchy is deeply rooted in the society and thus not knowing how to cook is now considered empowering for women. Educated working women do not allow their young daughters into the kitchen as they think that girls should not be required to know how to cook unless it’s something that they enjoy doing. This way they try to overcome the unrealistic standards that women are expected to meet at the time of their marriage.
And this is exactly why I never learned how to cook even though I am past my twenties. And neither did my mom have any cooking skills. I have always had a cook in my house for as long as I can remember and as a professional cook who worked part-time at a restaurant, I was forever grateful to have him. However, watching cute cooking reels on social media has made me interested in cooking. Stay tuned for a look into my cooking journey!
