You should write your birthing stories. Today.
No one tells it like you do
My doula (and best friend) recently had me write out my birth stories.
It’s a deep, reflective way to release the pain of the past and make room for new stories to unfold.
I had such a hard time with this assignment. First of all, I stalled for weeks and just kept glancing at the beautiful birthing journal she made for me as I walked by it daily.
Then, when I finally sat down and wrote in it, I recognized just how much pain and disappointment lived in my birthing story with Lilly.
I was in such shock most of the time. I felt alone in rooms full of people. I was terrified as they split open my abdomen to try and save her life.
Then I had a painful recovery and extreme postpartum depression. I was isolated. I was so confused about motherhood.
Something truly beautiful about the writing experience is getting to see yourself in a totally different space in your previous work. It makes room for gratitude — for who you were and who you are now.
In all of that chaos, I got to witness Willow Drake becoming.
Becoming a mother.
Becoming a dedicated partner.
Becoming a strong, relentless woman.
Becoming herself.
What an incredibly epic story she has.
I am so blessed to have first-row seats to the spectacular unfolding that is this special creature.
Taking the time to write out my experiences cultivated self-love.
In the past, when I have reflected on my births, I felt sad and frustrated. Keeping it all in my head only bore self-loathing and resentment. When I wrote it out, I saw the truth — I was in a major transition in my life and I was doing the best I could at the time. Receiving the whole truth gave way to compassion.
After writing and receiving, I mustered up the courage to share. I told Sam everything. I told her that I had been afraid to tell the whole truth, lest she be disgusted and not want to be my friend. Dramatic, I know.
But that was the honest truth. Telling her that birth wasn’t the magical, fairy tale experience I thought it was going to be was hard for me. She’s a doula, after all. I figured she would want a bestie who was on board for natural birth and total surrender to the birthing experience. And, well, that just wasn’t me.
Lo and behold, she loved me through it. She held space and she validated my feelings. All of them.
My birthing stories are raw, real, and deep.
My life is messy, wild, hilarious, fun, and sometimes too complicated.
And I am blessed to enjoy the adventure.
Thank you to my daughter, my husband, and God for making me
a mom.
a wife.
a humble servant.
What about you, dear reader? If you’re a mother, how did the birth of your children change you? Better yet, how have the stories around these births shaped your experience of you? Have you given yourself the space to write it out, speak about it, and release it? If not, today’s the day.
