Holding Your Heart In Your Palm: Is It Worth It?
Being a woman who has always worn her heart on her sleeves, being overwhelmed with everyone’s emotions around me has become my second nature, so much so that even though they’re not with me, it somehow reaches me.
Life has never been a perfect story, and I can never say mine has been either. Having to be on my own long before I comprehended what life honestly is had always made me realize that holding your heart out for the world to see is never such a good idea.
Usually, my story has chapters to date where I had been neglected for being emotionally available and an open book, used and thrown when they had their fill of it. But today, I want to ask, is it truly such a bad thing?
Having been ignored by many for being a “kid" or someone who is not “intellectual" enough to be in your company, I feel like the tags may have gotten old, but the mentality still sticks around.
Wearing your heart on your sleeve doesn’t mean you don’t know the hardships that life brings, but I believe it represents the strength it takes to wear it still, even when you know you have the chance to get hurt just as quickly.
Let me ask you, how many of you genuinely take the chance to make someone a part of your life, to care for their heart that you hold in your hands, knowing the power you have?
Today, I had a similar experience, wearing my heart on my sleeve for someone I don’t quite know yet. But somehow, I gathered the courage to be myself and speak what my heart said.
And here’s where it comes, the fear:
To be neglected, to be left behind, and to be punished for not 'fitting in’….
But most of all, it was my fear of losing someone once again.
You may ask why does it matter, right? But somehow, to my heart, it does, and as much as you’re confused, so am I!
I believe when your soul accepts someone as quickly and naturally as it can, it’s hard for the human part of us to let them go. They do leave, but all it does is add to that already growing pit of endless guilt, of those promises of never wearing your heart on your sleeve again, but you end up being you, don’t you?
Today, that overwhelmedness got me thinking, is it really worth it to be such a soul in this world? Is it really worth wearing your heart on your sleeves?
Honestly, I don’t know because I am at crossroads today. To accept what I feel or to let things run their course… Even though I took that leap of faith, the fear of falling hits home harder.
I don’t think it should affect me this much if people stay or leave, but somehow my heart has already made space for those ready to give up hope, more so for me.
Therefore, things feel dark today, and I may end up losing them tomorrow, but I have that little fighter in me, that kid the society is ready to criticize, not ready to give up hope. Because people lose hope as they grow up, but children, nah?
Do you know why?
Because they have a soul as clear as crystal, shining brighter every day, I am proud to say it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.
Because not everyone can fall, get hurt repeatedly at a place, and still have the courage to stand up.
But my heart did, and it will always be. I do carry in me that innocence of a child and the wisdom of the world.
And the day someone would be willing to reciprocate it in any relationship: be it friendship or love, is when I would feel this world is a better place, don’t you think?
More so, I hope “many unheard but loved" like me can give more to nuture their inner child and learn to maybe judge this world for the lack of it. Because as Shakespeare said:
The silence, often of pure innocence persuades when speaking fails.
Our innocence is powerful, and being pure-hearted doesn’t make us weak. Instead, it shows our strength to be real in this world, where people are never more than a mirage. Do you agree?
PS: I know it’s hard to keep going, but please go on, because you may feel you’re not meant for this world of 'wise’, but know that you’re meant to be more than that: an embodiment of true divine, of pureness and most of all, love. Because where people today can’t even love someone they have been with since ages(like parents, siblings, friends etc.), you find the strength to love people you don’t even know with your heart!
I am proud of you. Keep goin' for me, will you? 🖤
Amalvee,
An Unheard But Loved Just Like You
