Losing Your Autonomy? The Social Security System, and Stigma Tattoo
The Invisible killer
In March 2020 our world changed dramatically. Initially shrouded in secrecy supported via government communication embargos, who knew the devastation it would cause? Covid-19 originating in the province of Wuhan (China) swept the globe without remorse.
Laying siege to everyone it touched. The death toll reached millions. The economic, societal, and health costs will continue to create a strain on all our lives, long after the vaccination rollout is complete.
Do you recall what you were doing, when your national government announced blanket lockdowns? In Belfast, the cancelling of the St Patricks Day celebrations marked the start of our Lockdown. The postponement of such events needs to carry robust reasons.
Stopping the spread of a deadly disease topped the charts on safety measures. The panic begins. Mass hysteria to rush to the nearest store ensues. We need supplies. Grab everything. Supermarket shelves are emptied in record time.
How many masks, disinfectants, and hand sanitizers do we need? You must only buy essential items when shopping. Don’t forget the 10 packets of tissue paper! Why don’t we start with food? Never mind that. Get more beers and wine!
In the rush for self-perseverance and family protection, we lost sight of what sustains us. Why were people buying so much bottled water? Our water is free from a faucet! (Tap if you’re from Belfast).
The economic cost was catastrophic. Millions lost their jobs. For those who qualified; furlough support was provided by the government. In real terms, it equated to 80% of their salary being paid up to $3400. For me, this was a dark period of struggling financially. I knew what I needed to do. But had real anxiety and despair about doing it.
The shame/stigma and judgement with yourself are some of the worst feelings you will experience. However, I need extra money. No matter what the source. It was time to take a deep breath, leave the pride wandering aimlessly, and embark on the journey into the social security system. What a position to be in the mid part of your life.
“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced” James Baldwin
Create your account
I click on the government website to start the process of registering. The system almost crashes. The volume of people in the same situation as me has increased by 100x. In January 2020 those claiming social security via (Universal Credit) in mainland U.K. was 100,000. At the end of April just four months later it had reached around 1.5 million. Hard to fathom I know.
Walking away from the laptop initially I told myself I couldn’t complete the registration. This was a cop-out. The thoughts were running in every direction. I stood staring at the screen as it baited me to start. Why couldn’t I press the keys on the laptop?
F**k this as the search for excuses starts to fade. Just do it screams echo in my head (Is this a Nike advert?). Head bowed I finally relent to the computerised orders.
Working through the online registration takes around 30 minutes. Life as a gigabyte is just beginning. I can understand why some people find this difficult. The system wants to know everything about you. Are you willing to sacrifice your independence? How would you cope with your life on screen for others to view?
Did I say this was hard? F**king hell you should receive a trip to the Maldives for completing this. Not due to time it takes to complete. No. How you feel is hard to digest. Think Dementors (Harry Potter).
Once you become part of the system you lose all feelings of self-worth, autonomy, and direction. You are now controlled by prompts, emails, and phone calls from your agent. Do not disappoint these people or your money could be stopped. The levers of power are working against you at every juncture.
I reflect on all the stories I’ve heard on the news. Why people are being pushed into poverty, losing homes, relationship breakdowns, and the rush to food banks. The reason was simple to understand. Failure to obey the system. Jesus, how did I end up here? Piss poor decisions. Welcome to the Matrix.
Hello Mr. Anderson
Thomas Anderson is a fictional character in the 1999 cult movie The Matrix. The plot of the movie sees Neo (Mr. Anderson) do battle within a world controlled by systems, machines, and agents. When you become part of the social security system your life is controlled by a dashboard. There are three main tabs on the dashboard;
- Home,
- To-do list, and
- Journal.
Each main tab contains a range of sub-tabs which must be populated with information. It is imperative you complete all tasks, agree with commitments, and populated your job search, and related activities weekly. Failure to do so will result in sanctions. What are they?
Your money is reduced if you fail to meet activities as set out by your agent. If there is a change report it immediately. F**k sake, do they want to know what colour off underwear I have on daily also? Not yet. But give it time!
“The sentinels are built on pervasion.”
The government subsided on social security equates to around $530 per month. How can I survive on that I think? Excluding any rent, how can you buy groceries, heat, and electricity and maintain some sort of normal life?
What about leisure? (Get this out of your mind). Did I mention I have twin girls also? Cutting costs is how you live. DIY haircuts? Step right up. This is all I need while a global pandemic takes hold of everyone’s wellbeing.
For those that live on Social Security, I now begin to understand their pain points. The stigma and labels you associate with government support are soul-destroying. You lose self-esteem. sense of self, and impetus overnight. It was amplifying the effects of Covid-19 lockdown threefold in my head. I felt powerless to do anything (Initially).
A study published in The Lancet (Journal) in March 2020 found significant psychological stress for those living on social security. The study was carried out over the period 2009–2018 and contained 52.187 participants divided into two groups:
- Those that were unemployed
- Those that were employed
The findings also revealed the unemployed group would meet diagnostic thresholds up to depression. Living in this reality is difficult for so many. Please see Effects on mental health of a UK welfare reform, Universal Credit: a longitudinal controlled study — The Lancet Public Health
There is a strong correlation between deprivation, unemployment, and mental health issues. When we add prescription medication, alcohol, and hopelessness to that context you can understand why the evidence is compelling.
Men have been identified as the most at-risk group for suicide and mental health issues in Ireland. I wasn’t about to become another statistic. Time for self-analysis, difficult questions, and brutal truths.
Spiderman vs Zorro?
When I reflect on the past year and all the challenges I encountered I want to break out the Spiderman pyjamas. Not because I feel like Spiderman. I just love the pyjamas! In great suffering, we find great strength. I had reached a real low point in my life.
The Covid-19 pandemic had enabled me to camouflage among the panic that everyone else was experiencing. Men are masters at hiding their feelings. It travels to the very core of what being a protector means. You cannot show weakness at any point. Get those feelings repressed.
“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest of souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars” Khalil Gibran
Is it the environment, cultural norms, or family values that perpetuate this? What does man-up mean to you? To me, it’s really simple. You are comfortable with who you are to speak up. Do you feel like shit? Tell people. That’s it. When I hear someone say “he’s really deep” spider senses go off. Being deep is the death knell for emotions.
The emotions just bubble under the surface, waiting for that perfect moment to strike. Do you ever watch an ambush predator? When it strikes you lose control of your senses. Everything gets attack, and there’s no way of stopping it.
Why would you want to live for that moment emotionally? There are so many fantastic Mental Health organizations in Belfast you just need to take the first step and reach out.
We are nearing the end game in our battle with Covid-19 with most major cities starting to ease restrictions in staged phases. After living with the global pandemic and social security for the best part of a year, I can honestly say the impact has changed me forever.
The man of March 2020 has now disappeared. I need to go to the mirror. Who is this man, and where is his mask? Hello, my real self. It only took 44 years to find you. What’s your purpose now? To use this experience to add value to others. There is no greater cause…..
