The Façade: Are We Past It Ourselves Before We Blame the Others?
It is today’s reality for others, but let me ask you, how true are you to yourself?
Life can be harsh. We are dumped at almost every turn of our lives. Don’t you think it happens more frequently than we like?
We are tempted to adjust ourselves so that we can be accepted, but the time comes when we realize that accepting everything is not healthy.
Because of it, don’t you think we started a charade that we are unaware of? Come to think of it, are we truly what we portray to the world?
Yesterday, my friend posted the above thought he had, and it actually hit home harder than I ever thought. When I got the time to just sit with it, I felt like there’s so much more inside of a person than what meets the surface. With people turning their back on one another, like a flick of the finger, isn’t it possible that everything that anyone does around us just starts feeling like a façade, a mask?
It’s like flicking through the channels portraying various reality shows, but instead it’s this harsh, cruel life that we are doing it with. Like the fakeness of social media, the “real” is lost in this chaos. But how many times do we actually look on the inside? Maybe to our own self and actually reflect if we are being true to ourselves.
Tell me, my “unheard but loved”, how many times do you still pretend to be someone that you’re not so that others can accept you? How many times have you stepped into the shoes of another for your friends or family to be exactly “how they wanted you” to be? How many times do you have to look at yourself in the mirror when you’re alone and wonder if you let this “perfect persona” fall, whether “they” will still accept you?
I am not ashamed to admit anymore that I have wondered the same things more times than I can remember. Being “unheard” for so long, somehow this complex of not “being loved” for who you are cages our minds like a vice. Having experienced that first hand, let me tell you, it’s all a lie.
Yes, you heard me right! It truly is a lie, a demon that cages your heart and mind. It takes courage, though, to stand up to it and say “people will accept me for who I am”. However, you have to admit it to yourself before you can truly “be yourself” in this world. And it’s a curveball! It’s not like a walk in the park, but a continuous process.
Wouldn’t you feel happy and free if you didn’t have to keep up something to make everyone else happy? Wouldn’t it be liberating to have your family and friends in your corner and still be who you’re? There was a time I tried to be “everything they wanted” for “that someone” who meant the world to me. I tried to justify it to myself that it’s okay to keep this charade if I can keep them with me. Though I was “unheard” and I knew it, I let it go on, because it felt like maybe it would all pass.
But it doesn’t. Because when you start changing yourself for others, you’re taken for granted by them. And let me tell you, I am not saying you shouldn’t embrace change. The only thing is, “Do it if you really and truly want it.” My mistake was to truly not embrace who I am: underestimating myself because I believed “those others” more than I trusted myself. I was someone whose child outshone the world but had a mind that had depth and a vision of the future. But since they didn’t trust my mind and beliefs, I let myself trust theirs. And the result?
When they left, they had a trail of my broken pieces with every step they took farther away from me. It took me a whole while to gather an ounce of who I was back, but this time I was “heard and supported” because I believed in who I was this time around. Honestly, I am still discovering a piece of myself every passing day, but this is a lesson I indeed wanted to share with those who are still out there with a part of themselves still “unheard”.
I know it’s hard to take off that mask or charade or that “perfect façade”, but it’s okay to let go rather than hold on. Because you may feel alone for a while in the beginning, but as you start loving those small parts of you, people will start seeing what you see in yourself, and that’s “sheer love and pride,” my love.
I am here if you need to take that step, because even when you’re unheard by others, you’re still loved by me and many others like me, who see the diamond in you, waiting for you to outshine “the old you”. You may be “unheard but truly loved” by those who truly see you for who you are, remember that! Be it your partner, friends, or even family!
Amalvee,
#unheardbutloved ❤
