The Man who Broke Me
Not all Daddy issues relate to porn fantasies.
It was a typical Sunday afternoon on a call with my bestie in Australia. We were on our monthly scheduled facetime call and as girls discuss boys (yes, I oftentimes refer to myself as a girl), a particular crush I had developed on a guy came to the surface. I won’t bore you with the nitty-gritty, but the topic that led to this very article was about the possibility that my crush could actually return my affection. Somehow I got so fixated about how good-looking he is, how kind he is, that he pisses lemonade, and shit diamonds, you know when you’re wearing the rose-tinted glasses, all looks well, but I haven’t stopped to think..what if he thinks the same? Somehow, the idea of a man wanting to spend time with me seemed so foreign. And then my friend uttered the words that crushed my illusion. “Simon, your dad broke you!” It hit me 6-love! I knew I had daddy issues, but for some reason, I pretended that it didn’t affect me as much as it clearly did. I actually started to get a bit emotional. Off came the scab that covered a major wound. Raw in emotion, I tried to compose myself, the conversation continued and after we ended, the question that remained, was “How did my dad break me?”
This question spend a few weeks percolating in my mind until I was able to formalize it into words. Backtracking to my facetime…
