I’m Done Healing

I want to snowboard now

Published in
4 min readNov 27, 2022


Foto door Visit Almaty

Warning: Don’t expect much nuance here. I’m also done nuancing. Also, I’ve never touched a snowboard.

Up until the beginning of this year, I’ve spent 3 years healing. Mostly under a blanket, scared of the world, listening to David Goggins. I’m feeling better for a year now. But every day I was healing, I knew one thing: I have to get out of it. Life’s not just about healing and I’ve always felt that deep down. God is great, and he didn’t make us for the weird reasons that people make up for…weird reasons. He (or She, or The All, or whatever you want to call that higher power You feel) does not see life as a test. The All is not concerned with wether or not you ‘finally get it’. Such a huge universe can not just be about going trough little shit-tests.

My healing was necessary and I’ve done it gracefully. Sometimes showing grace to myself was: buying comfort food (you know what foods I’m talking bout), getting a bigger car (an S-Class or a 6 Series Gran Coupe), or cussing people out (sometimes not the best advice).

I’ve come to understand that most pains in the body come from unexpressed energy. Releasing expression works for me, because I have a creative soul. If, for example, you have a helping soul, that helping energy MUST be put to use. Unused, it can show itself as bodily pains, anger, sadness and even depression.

Find what your soul wants to express deeply. Drop everything you’re doing (unless you’re holding a baby) and find out what it is your soul yearns to do.

Even though my healing was necessary, it will never mean that life is ABOUT healing. A poor person’s prayers are about money. She will see God as someone who can solve her stability problems. Her life will revolve around the subject of poverty and her moves will be heavily motivated by the eradication of poor wealth. I’m not saying she should not fix the problem. Asking for help is always a good idea. However, God (or Life, or the Universe, or Source) is more than just someone that can help you with your most urgent problems.

I don’t want my urgent problems to taint my image of The All. By being so busy with my problems, as I was while I was healing, I forgot to see what life was ALSO about. There were so many beautiful, important, and sexy things outside of my ‘healing journey’. I’ll write about them. So many cool things happened. Also, a lot of good music came out.

Now, I want to snowboard. I have no clue why, but I don’t need a reason for it. I want to see palm trees and oceans. Which are hard to combine with snowboarding, but I’ll accept the challenge.

I’ve also noticed that my self-help articles(I have no clue if they’re actually helpful) are viewed more than my fictional stories. While the real gold is hidden in those stories. Noticing my fictional stories being read less than my self-help articles, it told me 3 things:

  1. The world needs a lot of self-help (which is sad), inviting in gurus and other content creators with bad intentions, or gurus who actually have good intentions but just suck at their job(s). This is not a nuanced article, so I will not mention that there are actually real helpers out there, like David Goggins. Still nuanced the hell out of it.
  2. The world misses out on things outside their ‘intellectual’ world (which is sad). We miss out on the fun stuff that can also be found in that same world.
  3. My stories might suck (which would be sad). But I know they rock.

Ok, back to snowboarding. I just want to do fun stuff now. Notice that last sentence? It’s bold because it’s important. It’s a bold message, lol. It’s bold and it’s beautiful. Truth be bold.

Dear followers, I want to keep in closer contact with you guys (and girls, and gods). I want to write YOU instead of just writing stuff on this platform. I want to have real connections instead of followers. Feel free to contact me on my personal e-mailaddress: moinden@gmail.com. You can ask me anything, or just vent, or buy me a car. Some of you have already e-mailed me and I love that you did. I’m just a very unorganized person, so I be patient with me.





I have some stories in me that I need to tell. Mostly fiction & poetry.