Finding Your Purpose. Kinda.

What’s the point of it all?

I’m not one to go round telling people what they should or shouldn’t do with their lives. Or what should and shouldn’t matter. That’d make me a fascist or dictator and, as much as I’d like to have a go, I don’t think that’s something the world is really ready for yet. Yet. But, if the reality-checking and money-drinking machine called university has taught me anything, it’s that a sense of purpose is something most people tend to strive for. Even as a nihilist, who fundamentally believe in the idea of no purpose, you’d have to find a purpose for finding out that everything is meaningless. So despite your belief, religion or whatever following you subscribe to, you’re fuelled by a sense of meaning. An ideology to cling onto and a goal to achieve. Something to fulfil.

Why? Who the hell knows. But this is something we can all relate to. If you can’t yet then someday you will. And if you get to your deathbed and realise that you never did experience that strange panicky phenomenon collectively known as an existential crisis then I pray you signed up to donate your organs to science because you may not have been human at all.

“you’re fuelled by a sense of meaning”

All I’m saying is that it’s normal to feel these things: the thirst for a definite destination; the want for the sweet, sweet satisfaction of a clear vision; the feeling that you have found out what you want to do and everyday you inch closer towards achieving that goal. It’s normal. But not common. In fact, as I’ve listened and learned from those around me and on the internet, I’ve come to understand that everyone thinks about purpose differently. Some don’t think about it at all. Some do, but earlier than others. Some later than others. Some much later than others. Regardless of this, though, I presume that they must all reach a certain equilibrium within themselves when they get there. A delicate balance and clarity that makes them feel a little bit better — “everything’s okay, I know where I’m going”. I presume this because I too felt something similar. And that’s what all this is about. Me.

I know you expect me to be joking. But I’m not. This is actually about me. Well, my thoughts and take on the ideology of purpose and what it means to me. But before that: basketball!

So picture this: it’s like 30-something degrees outside (celsius for all the non-UK readers). I’m shooting hoops with my bro, missing more than half of the shots because I’m not as good as I imagined. But then we get talking. And I won’t bore you with the intricate details of our conversation just because I want to make you think we’re smarter than we actually are. So just believe me when I say it was basically cosmically expansive. You had to be there.

Anyway. He says something that sticks out to me. He says that he predicts the future of our work/relaxation life will probably reach the stage where it’s 10% work, 90% rest. Due to automation of many jobs and increase of AI in many areas, we as a people wouldn’t have to work as much, blah, blah. That’s not what we’re here for. But he’s smiling as he says this, as I imagine most would – relaxing and enjoying my life for 90% of the time? How’s that even a question? And I would’ve been smiling too, if I didn’t believe this instead.

See, of late I’ve come to the realisation and belief that the purpose of life, no matter whoever you are, is to do good work that satisfies you and positively affects others. I know, I know, it sounds simple. Sounds too good to be true. But less is more, or so they say. At the end of the day, this is just my view. But let’s think about it. Let’s break it down.

What’s the first step of purpose? No, it’s not satisfying yourself. Read it again, you self-gratifying narcissist.

Step 1:

Work. And that’s given us problems before we’ve even begun because, let’s be honest, nobody likes doing work. It’s tiring, tasking and draining. You have to build up mental motivation first, get the cogs turning, musing over why you have to do this right now. Then you have to turn that physical and actually do the damn thing. Now, when you do this, it’ll feel like an uphill climb. Rightfully so, too, because it’s work after all. You’ve got to put your back into it.

But don’t just start doing random work for the sake of working, trying to fool yourself that you’re being productive. Love yourself, damn it. You’re royalty. Don’t start doing stuff that makes people’s lives hell, either. Freakin’ weirdo.

Look at it again – do good work that satisfies you and positively affects others. That means you’ve got to be wise with it. Look around inside yourself; chuck stuff out if you’ve got to, bring stuff in if it’s good. But you’ve got to spend time to find that which is good for you. You’ve got to find the work that is good for you and satisfies you. You’ve got to be hungry in order to be full and you’ve got to be thirsty in order to be quenched.

“Do that which satisfies you.”

Find your void, find what’s missing. Then ask the right questions. What will bring you happiness and paint your face with eternal smiles? What will give you that cool balm of satisfaction on your heart? Do that stuff. When you do something you want to do, you feel good. Duh. It satisfies you; you get that rush of achievement surging through your vessels, lungs expanding as cool air rushes through your body and jolts you into joy. Do that which satisfies you.

Don’t get it twisted, though, it’s not all about you. That’s where the second part comes in:

Step 2:

Positively affecting others. I think this is where most people would either be put off or just completely lost. I mean, it makes sense to be. Why should you have to do work to positively affect others? That’s not your job. They’re not paying you. So why should you care?

And for the most part, I agree. It’s not your responsibility to ensure others are happy or satisfied or ‘positively affected’, which is actually true. But let’s stop pretending we’re not all human beings for a second.

Imagine this: let’s say you bake a cake because you wanted to bake a cake. Then someone eats that damn cake, stuffing it in their mouth with nothing but absolute joy and delight sparkling in their eyes. Afterwards, they can only stare at you in admiration for creating so much bliss in their mouth. How do you feel? What’s on your mind?

Admit it. It feels good being praised for something you do. This is positively affecting other people. When others are blessed by your work, you feel more fulfilled; you feel accomplished. We underestimate the power of recognition and praise by our peers and members of society. We’re social animals, after all.

Okay. So this came out way longer than I expected. I don’t regret it, though, and I hope you don’t either because I feel like there’s something to be learned from this whole process. I’m not saying I’ve cracked the meaning of life or that I know exactly how to find purpose for everybody who reads this. I’m just hoping that I’ve sort of shown you my starting point, in the hope that it’d work for you too. I’m hoping that after reading this, you think a little more about the work you’re actually doing (or not doing) and how that affects you as well as the world. It’s all crazy, but maybe if we spent more time making sure we’re satisfied and others are better off because of work we do, the world might be a better place. And that’s what it’s all for. Isn’t it?