Lifestyle Conversations: Cheyenne

Ambition can be a transcendent; it helps the most ordinary of people produce extraordinary results in the face of the ugliest adversity. Being a minority might not seem like such a hardship to the untrained eye, but for many, it’s a universal feeling of suffering, from the anxiety to the crossed wires of communication that occurs amongst your colleagues and alien self.

Cheyenne, a civil engineering intern is no stranger to this, as part of our Lifestyle Conversation series, I sat down with her to talk about the art of faking it, contradictions and how she deals with being a minority in such a male dominated industry.

Can you give me the most expressive description of yourself?

“Man… I could try, okay; I’d say I’m basically a bunch of contradictions. Opinionated and open minded. I like to joke around and I think deeply about things. I love getting to know people and I’m n introvert.

Very balanced. When you say contradiction, do you view it as a negative, or does it hold positive connotations when it pertains to your personality?

No, not necessarily.

Fair, I always find it interesting when people refer to themselves as a contradiction.

How come?

Well, I feel like humans can’t help but be contradictions, we are so intelligent and have so much capacity for change, negative or positive change. Its very rare from my experience, that, when someone says they’re a contradiction, they’re viewing it as a pro, or something normal, but I think it’s the most natural thing. Within reason of course, some people can be total anarchists.

In some areas its good, because life requires us to react or behave appropriately, in others it’s still good to be honest, it may help me highlight where I need to improve or develop a view I have.

How does your personality help with what you do in civil engineering, do you find yourself applying it at all, or is there a sense of detachment?

I often feel detached, just in general, and it finds its way into what I do. I get overwhelmed because I overthink things, so being detached is usual a result of that.

When I’m working though, I’m really determined and stubborn [laughs]. I’m quite shy, not as bad as I was growing up, but still. Being shy is not ideal when trying to get work done as an engineer, but my determination to ‘make it’ helps me push past it so I can achieve what I want.

Do you know where this detachment comes from?

I could guess and be all-deep about it, but I think it’s just a coping mechanism.

It must have been hard, being shy and entering such a male dominated industry, how were the first few baby steps? Like your first lecture, first day at an office, or on site?

[Laughs] It’s funny to me because, I’m definitely a fake it ‘till you make it kind of person.

When I got to uni, I wasn’t worried about the industry being male dominated, I was more concerned about how I’d make friends. I made a few but I struggled, I’ve just finished a year in the industry and the confidence I’ve built actually shocks me. I’m still shy but the growth, I didn’t expect it. I’ve worked in three different offices, all completely different teams and projects and each time I’ve been scared as hell walking in for the first time, but I just fake it.

The first time I went on site, I was given the responsibility to check the gang and make sure they were doing things correctly [Laughs], my 4 months experience next to 15+ years, I was laughing at myself.

How did they accept you? Was it seamless, did you your act work?

I wouldn’t say seamless, because a lot of these guys, they don’t know how to talk to a young black female engineer. Just as much as I didn’t know how to talk to them, especially as I didn’t have the knowledge to fall back on as a topic. I’d male sure to greet all of them with a massive smile and ask about what they’re doing, because it disarms them and they relax.

Did you ever feel a type of way about having to be the one declaring peace? I find it crazy that you have to “disarm” colleagues you know, it should be pleasant first encounters from both parties.

I mean that’s specific to that gang, so nah, I don’t feel any type of way about it, sometimes I’m the person that needs to be “disarmed” to be made to feel at ease.

Your vlogging and Youtube stuff, what was the catalyst for that?

Ooo [Laughs], well I got fed up with myself. I live in my head a lot. There would be things I’d want to do and I wouldn’t, or I would start and then overthink and talk myself out of it. I just didn’t want to do that anymore.

I’m at that stage too, mind full of ideas and trepidations. Has it felt liberating?

No its felt scary! I think I’m still fighting the process, which I’m working on, but it’s a habit to overthink and stop, so it’s a work in progress, but I enjoy it, I really do and I’ve learned, I need to be patient with myself. I’m doing something completely different from the usual, still learning.

You’re so busy, how do you fit everything into your daily routine?

Psh I don’t, the ball gets dropped somewhere, usually my sleep.

When you said you were studying civil engineering, I was so impressed, my father is one too, and he comes home with stories, and he has a lot more in common with the people he works, than say you. So I was impressed, but also worried, but you’re prospering, making inroads in an industry where you’re super unique, which is inspirational.

I need a conclusion, so I’m going to need something really poignant as the closing statement, one the reader can learn from, so no pressure [Laughs]

Are you happy with the lifestyle you’ve chosen?

Okay okay, lets do this!

I have a ways to go before my life reflects my vision. I’m at a point where I am making moves and changes to project myself in that direction. Its never too late to try something new.

You can find Cheyenne’s Youtube page where she uploads vlogs of her escapades overseas, tantalising meals and makeup tutorials here: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC7iN973IbOSKvSgE7IUjN_g