How to Solve All of Your Problems

You can fix most of the problems you’ll face in your life. They’re not someone else’s fault, and you’re not a victim. That doesn’t mean you’re to blame either, but it does mean you can do something about it. The amazing thing about problems is that almost all of them have a solution. You just have to find it.

You work a shitty job, you drink too much, you eat too much, you watch too much television, you sit on the couch for too long, you aren’t happy, you’re wasting away and complaining about it.

That all sounds miserable and fixable. Here’s how:

1. Get a new job. You likely spend 25% of your week at your desk. You also likely spend 6% of your week commuting and at least another 3% of your week thinking or talking about your job when you’re not even there, but let’s be honest, if you don’t like your job, you probably spend more than 15% of your week thinking about your job when you’re not even there. So, you’re spending 34 to 46% of your time working at your job, commuting to it, or stressing about it. And you still need to eat, sleep, and, if there’s time, have fun. So, if you don’t like your job, you need to do something about it. Develop new skills, ask for a promotion, or get out of there. Find a job that you want to do for 1/3 or 1/2 of your life and your happiness will increase exponentially.
2. Get off the couch. When you’re on your death bed at 85, you won’t be reminiscing about when you watched Twin Peaks for the 18th time. Instead you’ll think back to the time you spent getting lost in a new city with your boyfriend or playing mini-golf with your friends. Yeah, you have to leave the house.
3. Stop drinking. Or at least drink less alcohol. Drinking excessively isn’t good for your body, your budget, your relationships, or your sanity. Slow down. If you’re drinking to avoid your problems, stop. Face your problems when you’re sober and you won’t have to drown your feelings in bourbon. If you’re drinking as a stress-reliever, stop. Deal with the source of your stress and learn to drink for fun. If you run for liquor every time you have a bad day, you’re gonna have a lot of bad days.
4. Lose some weight. You can love your body and take care of it. Exercising and eating well is how you show your body that you love it. Find something you enjoy doing and let yourself have fun. Sign up for tennis lessons with friends or triple the distance you walk with your dog every day. It’s easy to be active. Don’t run 5 miles a day if you hate running. Don’t eat spinach if you hate spinach. There are plenty of options out there. Find one that works for you and stick to it.
5. Dump the loser. Ok, maybe you’re significant other isn’t a loser, but you’re definitely the loser if you stay in an unfulfilling relationship. If you’re not happy in your relationship, and I mean damn ecstatic to see this one very specific person every single day, to hear their voice, wrap your arms around their body and support their dreams and help them through their trials, then it’s just not working. You can try to fix it, but if that doesn’t work, you gotta leave. You can find someone else or spend time by yourself. Either way, you’ll be happier.
6. Do not feel guilty. Did you do the right thing for you? Did you act with compassion? With consideration? Yeah? Ok, stop feeling guilty for what you did. If you didn’t do those things, still don’t feel guilty but learn from it and do better next time.

There. All of your problems: solved.