Love in the Time of Corona
My earliest memory of Love has been this strong feeling that felt more familiar than the warmth of my mother’s cozy lap. My faith in its existence came so naturally and with so much intensity that I felt the urge to materialize it in some form in this physical world. The feeble attempt, to somehow contain this flood of emotions led me to personify it into an imaginary character that embodied permanence and stability. As for the naming of this mysterious silhouette which I now know to be the purest form of Love, the inability of my unripen sensibilities to fully comprehend these sentiments settled with a simple ‘Unknown’.
But as I grew up listening to people talk endlessly about how happy Love made them feel, one thing or the other always contradicted with Unknown. It frustrated me as people described it as the best feeling in the world but yet were remorseful of its unpredictability. Even more frustrating was the frequent association with the deer eyes of their beloved, their lustrous locks or their rose bud lips. Whereas, the absence of Unknown’s physical characteristics naturally pulled me towards its comforting aura that radiated love for God, strength of character, kindness and compassion. The most salient of its qualities, that I never saw again in anyone, was its primal innocence and unshakable commitment and loyalty. So it was either my deepest desire for this little bubble of happiness to exist as such or my refusal to accept that the world that we lived in could be so sad where the lifetime of Love was as transient as the few glorious years of youth. Nevertheless, for me, Love had to be of supreme value that achieved nothing less than the ultimate highest benchmark of ‘made for each other in heaven’ or ‘written in the stars’. Anything less was unacceptable and unwanted.
But as time passed it began to seem as Faiz Ahmed Faiz puts it, ‘It wasn’t so. I had merely wanted it to be so’.
And one by one the high walls of my magnificent inherited castle came crashing down as the world waived off all these notions as childish fantasies. The sharp silhouette of Unknown started blurring around the edges until distorting completely under the noise of logic, practicality and cynicism. As the conventional concepts forced me into skepticism, making me give up on my idea of this divine Love, I made one last attempt to hold on to it as it finally slipped out of my grasp. I decided to write to Unknown.
Beloved Unknown,
As the world rants on about the volatility of Love I want to stick with my belief that true Love could not be such. True Love must be like a delicately served cordon bleu that satisfies our appetite and pleases the aesthetics so much that it leaves us rejuvenated to focus on the bigger picture and the higher purpose. True Love must set us free…it must be timeless having the ability to make us rise rather than fall. How could it be that selfish focal point that demanded all our energies to converge on it leaving us oblivious to the real problems of the world?
Am I so mistaken in believing that true Love should be above physicality and must be deeply embedded in unwavering loyalty that remains unchallenged for eternity?
Shouldn’t you be the reason for all humans to live in peace and harmony? Why don’t you intervene when, at a young age, our so-called superiority over others is being instilled in us in matters of religion, ethnicity and nationality? Shouldn’t Love be that inspiration that expands our unlimited capacity to love generously beyond the geographical demarcations? Why don't we realize, that at the end of the day, we are all humans…
Your seeker,
Maria.
After years and years of waiting, the distorted beliefs became rock solid and I began to doubt the very existence of Love that had not even considered my letter worthy of its attention. But never for even one instance did it disappear completely from the frame. The lingering kept my curiosity fueled until one day, after 20 years, I did get my response. Love finally wrote back to me when I leastexpected it and just when I thought that I was doing very well without it. Truth is that the serendipity was that added charm that made it absolutely worth the wait.
‘My Dear Maria,
Please accept my apologies for responding so late to your letter. If it gives you any comfort, please know that there are people who have waited much longer than you and some that have passed away without knowing me at all. People might think that I don’t love them enough. However more than often, the case is that they are just not ready to know me. They are better off without this overwhelming information. If I told them right away, it would be too much for them to handle.
I appreciate your patience and thank you for seeking me and not being distracted by all those phonies trying to impersonate me. I wouldn’t want to keep you waiting anymore so here goes…
I was born the moment you were brought down on earth. My existence is rooted in your creation. I was made because of you, solely for you to find guidance in the pursuit of seeking me.
Have you not read the Quranic ayah (49:13) where Allah says:
‘O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise each other). Verily the most honored of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the best in conduct. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things).’
A lot of people have many misconceptions about me. They try to fit me in a box of their own expectations. But that is just a very small space filled with nothing but their ordinary hopes. I, on the other hand, am beyond extraordinary. I am magical. Like a fairytale written by God Himself. I am beyond comprehension and logic. If you are prepared to appear crazy to the world then read on…
I am inspiration. When you meet me I will inspire you to reach for the stars. I will encourage you to become the best version of yourself. I will broaden your narrow vision and extend the horizons to open your eyes to the real matters that need your attention.
I am effortless. I come naturally. Like breathing. Like a heartbeat. I am nothing like my impersonators who will tell you to look your best or behave in a certain manner. When I am around, you will not feel the need to be somebody that you are not. You will feel comfortable in your own skin and feel like you are finally home. And once you open the doors to your home there is no other place that you would rather be than here.
I am joy. I am selflessly passionate about spreading happiness. I don’t expect a reward. Not even an acknowledgement. But at the same time I am grief. And you must experience this grief because without it you will start taking the joy for granted.
I am science. I am as logical as a chemical bond. I bring people together like two opposing poles of magnets. I am that urge that relentlessly makes an atom search, restless, until it finds its unique counterpart that will bring that noble state of tranquility. I am an infinite amount of such particles…carrying different charges…but wanting the same thing…
I am contrast. When you meet me you will find that you and I will not be aligned in our lifestyles, habits or manner. But please know that that is for the better. Your differences will bring diversity that will trigger growth and tolerance for difference of opinion and choices. But among these differences, you will find that I am the similarity between you. On the very basic level, your source of happiness, core values, goals and aspirations will all be the same.
I am unconditional. I am above physical attractions. I only see inner soul so that things like beauty and intelligence do not come in the way. Isn’t this what your basic instinct kept telling you? Never doubt your basic instinct. Don’t ever doubt that I give everyone an equal chance to experience me. It’s only up to you to either settle for something ordinary and keep wondering why you feel unfulfilled. Or you could reject this poor imitation of me and keep seeking until you find me.
And for those who do not give up seeking me, I have to admit that their path won’t be easy. It would entail confusion, self-doubt, difficult decisions and pain. Because I am thunder and lightning bolts that come after the sunshine, rainbows and butterflies. But never forget that I am that silver lining too. And once you do meet me, you will stop discrediting this whole process of pain and heartbreaks and embrace this necessary transformation leading to your ascension.
I am surrender. You will soon realize that I like things my way and sometimes you will feel helpless about that. You will find me against your ordinary hopes, amidst the incompatibilities, beyond the boundaries of societal validation and far from logic and reality. Remember to appreciate the beauty and magic in that. When you reach that point, the most important lesson will be to surrender gracefully. Don’t forget to remain patient and hold on to that self-control with dignity and pride. And at the end of the day when you see the transformation all these lessons bring in you, you will realize that it was worth all the trouble. Beyond this point be prepared to be rewarded with the showers of highest and purest form of divine love.
Today, in the midst of all the cruelty, pain and sadness that prevail, I request you to not give up on me. I want you to believe in me like you did as a child with the faith pure and unadulterated with societal notions. Allow me to be felt so I can guide you to your higher purpose and to the source of your existence. Let me be the one that helps you become the extraordinary being that you are destined to be. Allow me to let you break free from the shackles of the conventional. Let me help you conquer the world like you were meant to.
Forever yours,
Love.
I cannot help but wonder about the timing of Love in writing back to me. In times like these with this deadly pandemic spreading fast, taking lives, the world shuts down its hustle coming to a complete halt, bringing everyone down on their knees calling for undivided attention to something that cannot even be seen with the naked eye. I wonder if this is True Love reminding us to believe in it despite the miles in between and having never met in the physical. As we set aside our trans-boundary conflicts, politically-induced hatred and baseless biases I wonder if this is a letter from Love addressing the entire globe to rise above their selfish interests and think of us all as one body suffering in shared pain. I marvel at how the whole world has come together, united, regardless of the differences that seemed so imperative only a few weeks ago. Is Corona that bigger picture that has suddenly diminished all that into insignificance? Maybe this is when the world will finally be reminded that a vision considerate of each and every being on the planet is what accomplishes eternal happiness.
But the question is how soon would we forget all this and go back to our normal life once all this is over? What death toll would it take to convince us of this truth? How do we consistently keep believing that compassion is all that is required of us? No…This is all just too idealistic to be achieved…Just a childish fantasy too ridiculous to be believed…
But then why, as I finish reading the letter, do I feel contentment in the mere fact that Love has responded to me and retuned my tainted beliefs when I did not deserve such a blessing. Why do I feel peaceful in the knowing that my search is over…that if God decides to end my time in this world right at this moment, I would not complain and smile with gratitude that one of the most precious secrets of heaven has been unveiled before me…
