It’s hard to think of two more relevant culturally dominant themes in our world today than toxic masculinity and it’s outgrowth of reflexively and hostily calling anyone it disagrees with on a seeing whim, “snowflakes.” It’s the champion call of the angry, aggressive male internet persona prepared to take his target down a peg and reestablish or reassert his self-perceived dominance. Can’t let anyone get the best of him, lest he feels less-than, he rationalizes as he spews the foulest of borderline hate speech. The painful hypocrisy which ensues always evidences the fact that they themselves are the knee-jerk and eruptive, emotionally volatile actors in the exchange.
“Snowflake” is meant to denote someone who can’t handle their feelings and is highly emotive — it’s also covertly a way of emasculating men, relegating them to the status of the presumed hyper-emotional (and misogynistically, inferior) woman. It places the male lower on the totem-pole of the hierarchy and calls them soft. Yet, whenever a football player doesn’t stand for the special song during the outset of a football game, these same people lose their minds.
If you so much as mention the decency of women or the problems that men face today, they’ll come out of the woodwork to aggressively attack you and try to take you down a peg — the smallest, inconsequential perceived slight on their ego must be smothered and checked, because that’s what being a tough guy demands, they believe. This goes to ridiculous lengths. In the comments sections of some of my stories that criticize toxic masculinity or unhealthy relationship patterns, some men have just assumped that I’m a woman and written me things like, “Well, I hope your husband beats you.” Every single time this happens, I can’t help but wonder why these men are so sensitive.
It’s as if they automatically assume that when I speak about certain men, I’m not only speaking about all men, but — gasp — I must also be speaking about them as well; the peak irony of the situation is that when such men draw hard, fast assumptions like this and retort with anger, passive aggression, hostility, and such a curious foul revolt as they do, they basically slap the big, bad, beautiful label onto themselves that reads, loud and proud, and certifies that they’re the embodiment of the very same characteristics they’d set out in opposition to. The comments sections of stories like these will show exactly what I’m talking about:
What Most Guys Don’t Understand About Why Women Don’t Date Nice Guys
Hint: It Has Nothing to do With Niceness…
So…can we start calling these highly toxic and reactionist men, “Broflakes?” Can we add this term to commonplace vernacular that we all share and love so much, pretty please, with a cherry on top? We could add it to the list right next to the Nice Guy and his counterpart the Total Jerk. Because it’s inevitably the most toxically masculine ‘bros’ you find uttering this stuff, along with justifications for rape, homicide, misogyny, and sexism in general. The broflake is the consolidation of a failed attempt at masculinity — all toxic masculinity is a failed attempt at masculinity — combined with the alarming sensitivity and hair-trigger temperment that pickles the internet in a low-key concerning amount.
I think the name is rather suiting, because they’re usually never found lacking in some patently ‘bro’ element, like the obvious weight-lifting hobby, which usually has more to do with vanity than health or whichever dated tattoo from a trend long-passed suits their age range. Perhaps having a nominalized version of the name could solidify the behavior into something that’s unpreferable, something that people would actively avoid, because, you don’t want to be a ‘broflake’ now, do you? Sadly, for many men, I think this is the only language they’re willing to listen to — the language of power. As I said just last night in response to a story about men thinking that women want a provider much more than women actually want a provider, “Very, very simply put, men are obsessed with power; women are not.”
And, that’s the thing, right there…there it is…men are obsessed with power to a degree that’s out-of-this-world, it’s astonishing, even to me; it’s astronomically greater than anything that women could even conceive. They say that women dress for other women, not for men, and the same could be said of men with their displays of power and their “bro-flakiness;” it could be said that they ‘peacock’ for other men, lest they be shown up by a woman. Can’t have their power, their image, their reputation harmed by someone saying things. It’s this power obsession that causes a lot of problems in our world and I’m of the belief that it’s time that it we collectively outgrow it.
Hopefully we will…