This Is How I Dealt With the Cognitive Dissonance of Cheating
It happened after 18 years of marriage
I’m not advocating for cheating, but now I recognize it can happen to anyone. I cheated, and, of all things, it started during the first lockdown. I didn’t expect it, nor did my lover, and, in hindsight, my wife feared it.
To give you a bit of context, my wife and I had been together for 22 years (18 years of marriage) when it started. I’ve been playing music, as a hobby, for even longer. During the first lockdown, my band kept on practicing. A new musician joined, we’ll call her Stephanie, and it was love at first note for us. We were in tune, two solo players so harmoniously interacting that the rest of the band stood forgotten in the background.
The musical connection evolved into a physical and spiritual one. We started, for lack of a better word, playing each other. And I started lying to my wife about additional rehearsals allegedly to cope with the mental burden of lockdown.
First, I Didn’t Recognize Myself
Cognitive dissonance refers to “the mental discomfort that results from holding two conflicting beliefs, values, or attitudes.”I held them all.
