What people fail to understand
Parents everywhere must be reeling from the difficult conversations happening in many homes these past weeks. Our family’s discussion about race, George Floyd, citizenship, and protest were agonizing but necessary. It got me thinking about how narrow our definition of violence is while the scope is pervasive and unrelenting. People need to recognize that violence has many forms. Apathy, privilege, and silence in the face of systemic racism are all violence. I will not commodify pain, nothing disgusts me more and I will not ignore a nation in pain. For years I’ve been asking myself, ‘how did we get here?’
This country was born out of a revolution and either will end or evolve the same way. I don’t know, I doubt anyone does. The traditional view of violence is the ability to document death, bruises, blood, commodified pain that you can photograph, sell, prosecute, vilify, and gaslight. This cycle repeats in a profitable pattern so the country can flourish until the next victim (which may or may not be your child) comes along, leaving trauma in its wake. History is often best examined backward, so here are some undeniably violent moments that brought us to where we are today.
I doubt there is a parent or person over thirty that will forget the devastating events of Sandyhook Elementary School or any school shooting that preceded or followed it. There is something so morally repugnant and bitterly vile about violence against children. It doesn’t matter if it’s sexual exploitation, physical or emotional abuse, the vicious cycle of poverty, or tear-gassing of youngsters. Violence against children is deplorable. When people stand by and don’t hold their government accountable, there is something deeper at play. Gun Reform has yet to come all these years later, even as the militarization of our schools becomes accepted. The failure to protect American children is a form of violence and it is arguably the most sadistic.
An apology offered in the spirit of true repentance moves the United States toward reconciliation and may become central to a new understanding, on which improved racial relations can be forged. — EmmitTillAct
Speaking of utterly sadistic forms of emotional violence, let’s talk about silence, redirection, and political maneuvering. Senator Rand Paul from Kentucky who chose to be the only conscientious dissenting opinion in the Emmitt Till Antilynching Act. Even though America has a history of lynching, disturbingly enough it is not a federal crime. Already passed with broad bipartisan support, Senator Paul supports the bill but considers its possible application too broad. I respectfully believe that Senator Cory Booker may know this man’s heart but the collective actions of politicians across America in this moment crush any feelings of hope I might feel. I doubt African Americans will start lynching whites in Kentucky anytime soon. Any sane judge would not tolerate the bizarre mockery of slapping, pinching, or bruising to be considered in the same realm of existence as lynching. The decision is all the more potent given the two highly publicized deaths I’ve seen in the last few weeks of Breonna Taylor and David McAtee. I’d argue that if this bill passed quietly, it might offer people paying attention hope. A small conciliatory act that could be seen as a symbolic gesture costs Senator Paul nothing, whatever his record is on criminal justice reform. Staying silent, (particularly in this moment) the status quo and privilege are forms of violence. Lip service, pedantic stalling, and political friction to change is violence.
Since we are talking about hope, nothing gives heart like the families, peaceful protests, officers bending the knee, and endless conciliatory, intensely vulnerable displays of humanity. The most unifying display of national unity I witnessed recently was a photo op amidst tear gas reminding us that even clergy in peaceful contemplation is required by the bible to turn the other cheek. I’m not a lawyer, just a stay at home mom with two young children, neighbors, and friends she cares about and a reasonably capable brain. I understand peaceful protest and the desire for change. I am also all too familiar with ego and the impulse to diminish the worth of other people and their ideas. It’s the cause of many wars. Centuries of promises denied reform and alienation are an exemplary form of violence. The subjugation of people for religious beliefs, race, and sexuality is the bloodiest stain on human history.
These examples are all a nationalized, use of force strategy. All of it is a form of moral, political, economic violent corruption. Corporate Bailouts which have been occurring for a long time are some of the most insulting displays of force against citizens. Bailouts are literally stealing the food out of people’s mouths forcing them into poverty, openly denying opportunities. We keep kicking the can of debt down the road for future generations to deal with. Follow the money so there is an investment in communities. The responsibility was as much ours to fix in 2008 as it is in 2020. Hopefully not by blue state or red state failures but by collective action. If I ran my house like my country runs its finances, my family would be bankrupt a thousand times over.
“Weaknesses in our laws are being exploited by a growing list of bad actors at home and abroad. From foreign despots to terror networks, drug cartels to human traffickers, some of the world’s most destructive forces are benefitting from gaps in U.S. law. Multiple corruption scandals in the last year alone have shown that transnational corruption is often facilitated, enabled, or perpetuated by countries toward the top of the Index, including the United States. Fortunately, bipartisan legislation currently before Congress, the ILLICIT CASH Act and the Corporate Transparency Act, would go a long way toward stopping these interests from using the U.S. as a laundromat for their dirty cash.” — Gary Kalman
As I’ve been told many times in my life, ‘this too shall pass’. I’m sure it will but in its wake, we will still have debt, racism, poverty, and my largest concern, climate change. Deliberate negligence is violence. The combined results of this COVID pandemic, years of political and economic corruption, extremism, and climate denial will perpetuate migration, poverty, and protest. Mother Earth does not care about our infighting, sensationalism, or ignorance. Welcome to the sixth extinction! Party hats and popcorn free of charge. We steal resources and destroy future opportunities for our children in powerful displays of abuse. The species we sentence to death daily have a right to justice. This form of moral embezzlement is a universally sanctioned use of force policy. It is all violence; the same monster different masks.
I hate writing this. It is not in my nature to comment on the lives of others no matter how repugnant I believe their beliefs to be. I hate my frustration and wholeheartedly want to write about laughter, rainbows, unicorns, peace, love, and faith in humanity. I hate discussing people and topics in childish, juvenile, and backhanded ways. I want solutions, I want to talk. I think we all want to collectively find a way out.
America has wasted the potential and natural talents of the American people by isolating and alienating them. History will not be kind to us and neither will our children. I will not be blind to this moment or who we are. Do no harm, at all costs, do no harm. Emotionally, economically, politically, do no harm.
The cost and moral decay of being silent should be a price far too high for anyone in this nation. Americans should recognize the burden and responsibility of this moment as protests are erupting all over the world in support of our ideals. Rise to the occasion, we’ve done it before, make real impactful change. Forge a path, get it right, don’t you dare quit! The right to exist free of violence in all forms, should be how we serve the generations of the future.
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there.” — Rumi
I sincerely hope to meet you one day and debate, disagree, hug, cry and break bread as old friends.
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Go forth, break bread. I’m a little tired of cooking but try this version of Chili: I used ground turkey, serve with tortilla chips, and avocado. Changes, Tupac in my dream soundtrack. How ironic? Hopeful?
